Love Hurts
by Bible Chick
Summary: When are you going to stop being so stupid!" "When the scars on mum’s face heal!" I scream back. If there's one thing I know, love hurts. The Story of Emily and Sam’s Son imprinting
1. Stop And Stare

Blurb:

"When are you going to stop being so stupid?!"

"When the scars on mum's face heal!" I scream back.

If there's one thing I know, love hurts.

The Story of Emily and Sam's Son

Authors Note

It feels good to be writing again, but mainly cause in this story I'm trying to write a little differently. I really want it to be deeper. I knew I wanted to write a story about Sam's son ages ago, and then when he was a character in my, _No Seriously My Names Wolfie_, I was sure about writing him one, but I also new I had to finish some other stories. I started his off course, but I've decided to go a different way, I really hope you guys like it.

Chapter One

_Love is the most controlling and uncontrollable thing to ever exist._

_Anonymous_

There's being quiet and unnoticed, and then there's me. I'm the girl no one really knows. I'm not saying that in a bad way, I'm just saying it as a statement. I'm the girl no one knows who she really is. They might say, "I think she's in my English class," or, "I think she might have won a prize for that poem she wrote," or maybe if I'm lucky, "Is she someone's popular cousin?"

I'm that girl the girl that no one really knows, the kind of person people just make guesses about cause they refuse to admit they just might have no idea what I'm like. I'm that girl.

It's not like I'm unhappy about who I am, and dying for popularity, because to be honest I paved my own path of obscurity of being no one. I did it deliberately partly out of shyness, but more as a precaution because I'm not hiding myself, not really. I'm hiding my secrets, I'm hiding, no I'm protecting what needs to be protected. The secrets I refuse to let anyone know, I'm not that girl, at least not to me. I'm the safe girl, and I intend to stay that way.

"Angel, sweetheart, are you ready," Mum calls; her voice is one of those always kind sounding ones. The kind that makes you wants to spill your guts out to her, the kind of voice that has never managed to have any effect one me, though. Maybe I've just become immune to everything over time, or maybe I'm just one of those people that can never really share anything.

"Yes, I'm ready," I say as I close my bedroom door behind me.

In my house there are no stairs to come down from, we live in a box house, it's small and shaped like a box and a very pale green color with a small garden out the front which is mostly roses that my mother constantly neglects to attend to. It only has two bedrooms and I share mine with my older brother that left for college a year ago, the other half still isn't mine, despite him telling me I could make it all mine, it just doesn't feel like it belongs to me when it so clearly still belongs to him. It will always be our room, not my room, I just can't see it any other way.

I make my way towards the kitchen which is only a couple steps away from my bedroom, the house is one of the smallest houses I've ever seen, everything is right next to each other and no matter how you rearrange the furniture it always ends up looking small, too small for three or two people too small. Mum's leaning on the counter drinking tea and staring into space; lost in her thoughts; as soon as she sees me she smiles slightly at my presence.

"Oh good, your ready," Mum exclaims. As if I'm ever late. She pours the rest of the tea into the sink and quickly rinses it.

"So, is it a good day or bad day today?" Mum asks, placing the cup somewhere to dry.

"It'll be ok," I say.

"Well that's good isn't it, there's nothing worse then looking at your timetable and discovering you have a bad day, is there," Mum states cheerfully as she grabs her handbag from the counter.

"So, is your day a good day or a bad day?"

"Good, really, I have my favorite clients today." Mum smiles at the thought, then looks over at me. "I mean not that I have favorites of course," she says professionally. "At least that's what I'm saying if anyone asks me at work."

I nod my head and smile at her joke, though it really wasn't that funny. Sometimes I feel like I'm a let down to my mother, I know she would have probably preferred an out there, loud daughter, instead she got stuck with me; quiet and withdrawn, at least the withdrawn part is knew. I know that I should show more emotion, try and get involved more, but I can't help but feel like I just can't, like it's impossible to go back to how I was before. How anything was before, just looking at this house makes me know for certain I can't go back to the way things were before.

Mum leads the way to the car; it's a small second hand one, everything we own these days seems to be small. As soon as we get in the car mum turns on the radio; she has this habit of always letting it play softly in the back round, making sure it's soft enough so we can still have a conversation. Mum is constantly trying to connect with me like she does her clients, she's a therapist and figuring people out is what she does.

"Did I hear you talking to Hayden last night?" Mum asks, her voice curious.

"Yeah I was, he was good," I say, predicting her next question.

"Did he mention when his visiting again?" Mum asks, backing out of the driveway.

"Yeah, briefly, says he will when he can. I didn't get to hear the end of it, some of his friends came over."

"Oh, well it's good he's fitting in so well, isn't it?"

"Hayden fits in well anywhere."

"Yes, he's charming," Mum agrees proudly.

I think mum views Hayden as one of her biggest achievements. He's the type of person that makes friends instantly and easily, who manages to be popular without even trying and makes an effort to talk to everyone, he's also my older brother and my mothers pride and joy. It's not like Hayden is the out right favorite, she's as equally interested in my life as she is his, sometimes me more because to her I'm such a mystery. I think she just finds Hayden easier, easier to be proud of.

For a while, Mum and I fall into silence, some slow Dixie Chicks song comes on and mum and I don't say anything, we just listen.

"Your English teacher called me," Mum blurts out after a while.

"Why?" I ask, as far as I know I've done thing wrong.

"To tell me you won an award for a poem."

"Oh, yeah, that."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mum asks, annoyance lacing her words.

"It's not a big deal."

"Yes it is, you're such a talented writer," Mum says proudly, beaming at me looking away from the road to show me how proud she is.

"Thanks," I say awkwardly. I know Mum wants to say more, but we've reached school. I open the door as soon as she pulls up and before she can say anything else I get out.

"Love you," I say as I sling my bag over my shoulder.

"Love you too sweetie," Mum replies, and then I close the door and head towards school.

School is one of those things we all just have to live through, we all just have to get through a task that must be finished, something that must be done, that's school, at least too me. I don't hate it or love it, I don't really have an emotion towards it. I go through the motions of it, but I'm not emotionally attached to it, how can you be emotionally attached to something when no one even knows your there.

People are already filling the halls of Forks High, I live in the middle of Forks and La Push more towards La Push but mum insisted I go here, she didn't have to insist when we moved here I didn't care where I went. I still don't really it's the same result, but mum felt like this would be a better fit, she thought it would be a more structured school, personally I don't think it makes a difference.

No one looks at me as I make my way towards my locker, no one ever does, a couple of people mutter apologies when they ran into me. I open my locker and shove my books in there. I stare at the door. I've never really bothered to personalize it, there's just a single picture of me and Hayden the day he was leaving for College. Mum was taking pictures of everything that day including the picture of me holding him and crying, trust me to put the saddest picture of me and him up on my locker, the guilt of leaving is clearly written on his face and the look of complete sadness that he's leaving me is clearly printed on mine. To make things even worse, it's black and white which somehow seems to make it sadder, yet somehow, when I look at it I don't miss him much, maybe because I know he's missing me too, stupid really.

"Is that ya boyfriend," a voice says.

I spin around and slam the door shut, standing in front of me is obviously someone new, he's got brown messy hair and dark eyes, all new people get these lockers at the very end of the hallway; he must be in my year guessing by his height.

"No," I say flatly.

"Oh, sorry, thought he must have been, my bad," he says. "I'm Chris," he says, smiling at me

"Angel."

"Your parents must have high hope for you, huh."

"What?"

"Angel, you know, gotta be an Angel, get it? " Chris explains, laughing at his own joke.

"Oh, um, yeah I get it," I say, laughing quietly and wondering why he's still bothering with the conversation.

"Cool, well I'll see you round I guess," Chris says, waves cheerfully, and disappears down the hall.

I look at my time table, History, oh, I forgot about that. We have an exertion today where apparently we're going to be learning about La Push history since we're learning about the history about us. I hate history, it's just a reminder that no matter what people still take time to write down the biggest failures in the world.

The bell rings and barely anyone moves, taking their time and finishing their conversations. I walk slowly to class, getting there early gets you noticed by the teacher which is something I try and avoid.

I shuffle into class with a couple of people, all talking to each other, our history teacher is a kid in our class's father, one of those people that everyone seems to know really well and like.

"Well, today you get the whole day off," Mr. Faker says loudly.

Everyone cheers as if it's true. Pete Lakes stands up on his chair and screams Halleluiah.

"And go to La Push and learn about our history!" Mr. Faker finishes, everyone moans like they didn't expect the end of that sentence and Mr. Faker smiles

"Now, now how bad could it be, I mean, I know I'm not the worlds most interesting person, but come on we'll have some fun."

No one really says anything, and he smiles at us all taking that as agreement with him and begins listing the rules for what we can and can't do .Don't go too close to the cliffs, and all of the usual common sense rules.

"Sir, I think we should monitor Luke, he's wearing black today, and cliffs and emos don't go well," Pete says loudly, and Luke, his best friend, rolls his eyes and shoves him.

The class bursts out laughing like usual when Pete opens his mouth.

"I think Luke is happy enough for us not to have to monitor him," Mr. Faker says.

"Okay, but if he takes the plunge it's on your head," Pete says, a couple of people giggle and others just burst out laughing all over again.

A knock at the door gets everyone attention and everyone looks to see if it's anyone remotely interesting, and today it will be, it's the new guy, Chris, everyone has their eyes on him, trying to work out what group he will fit in to and if he's worth talking to, my guess is he'll fit in with Pete's group; he's loud and cheerful like most of them are.

"Hey, sorry got lost, which is kinda sad since my old school is like twice as big as this one."

"Isn't every other school twice as big as this one," Luke calls out.

"Probably," Chris says.

"You must be Christopher Arther" Mr. Faker says.

"Yeah, Chris."

'Well take a sit, you're in for a treat, we're all going on a trip today," Mr. Faker beams

Chris nods his head, I see out of the corner of my eye Luke motioning to the spare seat next to him. Chris of course takes it easily, and I know my guess is easily correct, some things are just too easy to guess, sadly only something's.

It took half an hour to get everyone on to the bus, and double check everyone was on. Sometimes the simplest tasks seem to be the most complicated at school, I always wonder how the teachers can be bothered. The bus ride is boring and I stare at the scenery as we drive past my house in the middle of nowhere. I hear Pete.

"Does anyone know whoever lives there?" Pete asks.

No one answers and I sure don't.

"I swear, that house is like the mystery house," Luke joins in.

I don't bother to tell them there's nothing mysterious about it, because I think they find it more enjoyable imagining it to be something different anyway. I notice Chris look over at me once he's sitting next to Locklyn, someone who is great friends with Luke and Pete, it figures he's already part of it. Basically ever since Matthew Row left they've been looking for someone else.

After that, the bus ride is completely boring and nothing happens. As soon as we arrive everyone is eager to get out.

"Now, before we get to work, which, trust me, we will be doing," Mr. Faker tells us, standing at the bus exit so no one can get out, and ignoring the sighs that follow his statement.

"You can all stretch your legs and enjoy the scenery for 15 minutes, and then it's back here outside the bus and we do some work, got it?"

No one replies, of course, but he takes the silence as a yes, and finally hops off the bus so we can all do the same.

I stand up and get pushed into someone instantly. "Sorry," I mutter.

"No problem, I think it was more me then you," Chris says.

His voice is easy to recognize, it's soft but strong and kind, one of those voices that is easy to trust; but lots of things are easy to trust.

"So, what's La Push like?" Chris asks.

"Smaller then Forks," I say, mainly because I know nothing about this place, besides the fact it is indeed small. Mum and I have never bothered to visit it much, I think Hayden use to come down for parties sometimes, but that was about my only association with the place.

"Wow that is small."

"Oh, and there's a beach," I say weakly

"I can see that," Chris says looking out the bus window, he doesn't say it cruelly, more amused really.

"Yeah, sorry"

"Hey, don't worry, I'd struggle to know what to say about this place too," Chris says with a laugh.

The line moves and I'm finally off the bus.

"See you," Chris says and heads towards Locklyn, Luke, and Pete smiling at me, a couple of people turn to look at me, but only for a second in mild of interest more than anything else.

Everyone begins to wonder down to the beach and I follow mainly because I miss the water sometimes, the sound of the waves is nice even if it is freezing outside, something you have to adjust to if you live here. I wonder further down the beach to get away from all the chatter interfering with the sound of the waves.

I walk slowly and quietly, remember how Hayden use to always say the smallest steps can sometimes end up being the biggest, by the end of year 12 he had become addicted to inspiring sayings, maybe because all his teachers seemed to be saying it to him, or maybe because that summed out how Hayden was, always optimistic, always happy, always inspiring.

As soon as I stop hearing voices of everyone else, I sit down and stare at the ocean. I try and think what mum would be doing, probably giving some confused person perfect advice while fiddling with her hair, something she does when she knows she's saying something that could really matter.

I feel sorry for her because I know her plan in life didn't go the way she wanted it, and yet she spends her life trying to help people get there lives the right way. It seems unfair that the one thing she needs help with she spends all the energy she has on doing it for someone else.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

I turn quickly when I hear the cursing. I see the person straight away, mainly because he's the type of person that is hard to miss, he's over 6 foot and he's obviously native with golden skin and shaggy black hair, but that's not the thing that makes him so noticeable, it's his grey eyes filled with pain and anger. He hasn't seen me yet, obviously too consumed with his own thoughts like everyone else is these days, after all, we're the selfish generation if you haven't heard. People are always saying that now, but it always amuses me that they never question how we became that way.

His voice is rough like sandpaper and gravel, the kind of voice that gets the girls' attention. He's wearing nothing but a paper of jeans with holes at the knees. He runs his hands through his hair.

"Another thing I did to piss you off," he mumbles, and picks up a rock and chucks it at the ocean with such force it's almost amazing.

It's clear I shouldn't be here, this moment is too personal, and besides his obvious good looks that I can't deny, he is obviously messed up in an angry scary kind of way. My mother would have a heart attack at the thought of me near a person like this on a beach, maybe I'm being judgmental but there's something about him that screams dangerous for so many reasons.

As soon as I begin to get up, I know he knows I'm there cause I can feel someone staring at me. I turn around to make sure he is, and sure enough there he is looking surprised as soon as his eyes lock with mine. His expression changes, there's surprise still there, but there's also something else, his face is mixed with so much emotions it's hard to know what he's thinking, and I'm pretty good at reading people.

His gaze is burning into mine, locking with my eyes and forcing me to look at him, it's impossible to turn away, it's impossible to keep looking because I know he's really looking unlike any one has. I can't work out why, and I don't feel safe, I don't feel like the safe girl. I finally manage to look down at the ground and break the gaze, I can hear him breathing hard like he forgot to. I look back at the beach and I can make out figures walking towards the bus again, it's time to head back not that, I was planning on staying I just want to disappear and forget about whatever just happened. I start walking away as quickly as I can, praying he'll let me go.

"Wait!" he calls.

I don't, of course, I learnt long ago nothing is ever worth the wait, no matter how much you want it to be.

"I can't," I say quietly. I don't know why I bother to answer him, but something in me makes me.

"What's your name then?" his rough voice begs.

He sounds so desperate, like he's dying to hear my name, to gather something for him, and I feel like I owe him that, even though it's clear I don't.

"My names Angel," I say quietly.

I hear him chuckle, but it sounds like he doesn't think it's funny at all.

"Oh the irony" he says, his voice so rough and so emotional.

I keep on walking, getting further and further away and I can feel him watching me. I'm never going to see him again, I know that these sorts of things only ever happen once, and for some reason I want something to remember about this, to take away from this.

"What's your name?" I say.

"The Devil!" he calls now since we're so far away, I'm surprised he can hear me clearly.

I don't believe him, not for a second, his voice gives it away, but I don't correct him. I'm happy for him to remain the devil to me.

I'm happy, isn't something I've thought in a while.

Authors Note

Wow maybe it's just me, but this feels different. I know I have other stories to work on, don't worry I'm aware. I was sitting down to write _Out of Control_ and this came pouring out, and something about this chapter felt right, I guess. [Cheesy I know] so I'm gonna post it before I never do, and yes I know another story, but I will update _Out of Control._ I promise just review and tell me what you think, so yes this is Jack's story, I hope you like it review, review, review! LOL

BC


	2. Believing Should Come With An Warning

Authors Note

It's funny how easy inspiration comes for this story, I think it's when I get a tad sleepy and then I'm like I need too write I know I know werid I will work on my other stories I promise espically Out Of Control last night I tried and got one paragraph down and stopped I just I dunno I've hit a wall but I'm knocking it down by writing this it really seems to calm me. Anyway please leave your thoughts.

**Read This PLEASE **

**Ok so my beta can't beta me for the next two weeks so please ignore all the bad spelling and grammar in this chapter when you read it there's no point complaining about it in your review i KNOW and I'm sorry about that so yeah try and ignore it please the other thing is that I'm looking for a BETA so if you want too be mine let me know ok you can just be my beta for two weeks or 4 as long as u want I write so much it's best if I have two betas so yeah just let me know if anyone can be my beta and keep reading and enjoy I read through the story and it's not horrible just bad grammar but very readable I just didn't want too have too wait anymore too post it anyway REVIEW**

Ps I have pics of the character up on my profile check .it out and tell me what you think

Love Hurts

Chapter Two

To love is to believe without doubt in someone

Annoymous

Afternnoons are one of those things I like it's the end of another day it's a reminder, I managed too finish it get through it survive something I really didn't want too in the first place. In my head this is an accomplishment. For everyone else this is barely something they even think about, one day I want too be one of those people get through a day, without even thinking of it as an accomplishment. But sometimes it feels like I have to remember each day rememeber that I managed too overcome what happpened live with something I never wanted too live with.

I sit down on the pavement mums late again sometimes her session go later then she plans you can't really control people and when they have there breakthroughs as there meant too be called. The word breathrough doesn't sit right with me I think it should be called something else because what does breakthrough even mean. Did they break a part of there past apart because you can't break your past you can't shattter it until there's nothing left it's not something you can just get rid of and never think about it again it's always there in the back of your head if they shouldn't be called Breakthroughs it should be called Pastthrough your learning too look past your past and see the future. Maybe I'm not there as a person yet either I haven''t had my paththrough but I like to believe it will happen I like to believe a lot of things though.

No matter how many times I warn my self it's stupid too believe in anything. Believing is a dangerous thing that is looked at as a good thing as soon as you believe in something anything can happen believing kills people believing breaks hearts believing is something no one should do believing should come with a warning lots of things should come with a warning.

"You need a ride"

I look up too see Chris his fiddling with his keys in a way you can tell is a habit I wonder if he use to play the drums or something maybe he still does.

"No I'm just waiting"

"Oh, are you sure" Chris asks he looks dead straight at me and removes the hair from his eye, as if too check I'm telling the truth and not lying, I'm pretty sure I've realised what Chris is his a fixer he sees something that is broken and feels the need too fix it make it better again and I'm broken too him so he has too fix me. It makes a lot of sense of why he even bothered talking too me in the first place he wants too save me when I don't need to be saved because no one can save you from yourself.

"My mum should be here any moment" I say trying not too lace my voice with the annoyance I feel towards him, it's not his fault he wants too help he thinks his being the good guy he should know that saving someone doesn't always do them any good some people I better off being broken then realising that even when there fully repaired there still not who they use too be, but no one ever seems too leern that the movie has already finished by then, no one wants too deal with the aftermath.

"Oh. well um if your sure, do you want my number incase your mum doesn't calm" Chris says

Before I can come up with an reason why I wont need his number I hear the sound of tires and look up too see my mother driving towards me, she has a look of guilt already planted on her face she hates being late she thinks it makes her a bad mother or something for being the last parent too pick up there kid, or maybe she just feels bad cause she can't afford to buy me a car like everyone else seems to have too drive too school.

I'm not sure if she'd like the idea of me being able to get anywhere without asking her anyway, the year before we came here I spent a lot of my time disappearing going places because we lived in the heart of the city I could get anywhere I needed it, it was relaxing it was soothing it drove my mother crazy, sometimes I think she picked the house in the middle of nowhere so I couldn't get anywhere so she could keep an eye on me. But then I remember my mother wouldn't choose that for me she would have wanted me too live in a street with other kids too talk to hang out with, she's always pushed me too find friends.

Mum stops right in front of me and I see her eyes flash too Chris a small smile graces her lips

"Thank you anyway" I say nodding towards my mothers car a couple of steps away from me.

"Oh um any time" Chris says rubbing the back of his neck and smiling at me as if his happy someone has claimed me even though I can tell he still thinks I need fixing and his happy to fix me.

I smile at him as pleasntantly as i can and walk towards my mothers car opening the door and offering another smile to Chris who waves as me and walks casually too his car I briefly wonder why his here so late but then again his properly just got enrollment stuff too do. You always get loaded up with that kind of stuff when you start a new school.

"Honey, sorry I'm late traffic today I was early but there was a car crash" Mum explains still watching Chris as she begins too drive away I can tell she's dying to ask about him as well as remain calm about so not too scare me off the topic.

"No problem" I say

"Well at least you had company" Mum says casually as we leave the school grounds, I don't bother too reply because no answer with really stasify her the answer she wants is the answer i can't give her. The radio is on and I can hear James Taylor playing in the backround quietly.

A little while longer passes of just hearing the radio and I can feel my mother getting more and more impatient and restless dying for a reply dying for me too tell her his my new best friend or even better boyfriend.

"His names Chris, and his new" I finally say

"Oh that's nice" Mum says acting as if it's no big deal "He wasn't a bad looking boy"

"Mum I don't like Chris" I say patiently

"I never said that I just said he was easy on the eyes" Mum says as she pulls into our driveway "Though if you did like him that wouldn't be such a bad thing would it he seems nice"

"Lots of things seem nice mum" I say opening the door and getting out of the car before she replies I know what I said wasn't really nessary and properly struck a nerve it wasn't fair I just played dirty and I can already feel the guilt hitting me.

"And I think he properly is nice" I finish for her benfit because I know she needs it the last thing she needs if for us too be fighting or for me too start saying things I shouldn't.

"I'm glad your making a friend" Mum says

I don't bother too tell her that his not a friend his not anything because once again she doesn't need to hear that. Instead I walk into the house and am surprised when I hear the phone ringing as soon as I step in the door I pick it up since it's on the counter expecting too hear Aunty Jill who calls as much as possible now checking on mum and me she's one of those sticky peaks who is dying too know everything in the whole world about everyone and that doesn't exclude her sister and her quiet niece.

"Hello" I say into the phone waiting for the sound of my aunty voice and the billion questions that follow.

"Hey it's me"

The sound of Haydens voice instantly calms me it's like my mothers but deeper and huskier he sounds safe as well he sounds like home and I feel like crying at the thought of home because I haven't really been home in so long too long.

"Oh hey, how are you" I say trying to sound casual and not on the verge of tears that are threatening too come spilling out. I place my bad on the ground and walk towards my room.

"Great really I just killed this test in Italian so I'm perfect how bout you" Hayden asks for as long as I can remember my brother could pick up anything sports acadamics were easy for him but his true passion was langauages any language my brother could just pick it up without even trying he always managed too sound out the words easily and never sound like an idiot when he was saying if he was speaking Italian he could sound Italian instead of an stupid American he was gifted I use too call him Langauage Boy since he was so damn good still do sometimes but mostly it's just Hayden now. I'm not even sure why I guess one day I just stopped saying it as much anyway Haydens studying Languages in College I forget what the course is really called though something fancy.

"Good" I say opening my bedroom door and collapsing on my bed I can hear the sound of mum putting away shopping in the kitchen and the faint sound of the Tv she's obviously just turned on.

"Cool, what have you been up too"

"School really"

"Ugh, it sucks doesn't it me too not too mention my roommate" Hayden says and I can hear the mild annoyance in his voice

"What about him" I ask the last I heard of his roommate Brock the star quaterback at his school was an alright guy but could be a bit selfish and loved throwing parties even when Hayden had too study, but he wasn't a bad guy though Hayden hated how he always managed too wake him up when he got up early for training.

"Brock is in love" Hayden says and then laughs at the end of his sentance, I kick off my shoes and listen too sound of the hitting the ground.

"With who"

"This is where it gets good, with Lisa Chat"

"Who" I ask

"Lisa Chat she's studying Chemistry here she's freakishly smart and nice but there like this massive mesh matched pair you know"

"It sound sweet" I admit picturing a hot football player and a sweet nerd togetehr sounds sweet like one of those teen novels at the bookstore that even I still managed have a soft spot for.

"Well it isn't since she won't give him the time of day" Hayden explains

"Oh" I say feeling a wash of saddness for brock poor guy he properly really likes this girl and she won't even notice him.

"Yeah well Brock won't shut up about it"

"So are you helping him"

"Trying but I just don't think it's gonna work, that's why where heading down here this weekend to get his mind off her"

"Your coming down here" I ask trying too contain my exictment at seeing my brother I know I should properly be annoyed at him or something like all other brother and sisters are but I've been clinging to him for so long he was really there when I needed him and after that I just found it hard too be mad at him.

"Yes this weekend that's what I rang about really just too confirm, we should be heading down tomorrow, after Brocks game only for two nights and three days but where coming down"

"Cool" I say

"Yeah, look I kinda have too go......" Hayden says and in the backround i Hear the words Party and come one Hayden

"It's fine I'll see you soon" I finish

"Yeah love you" Hayden says and before I get too tell him the same the line goes dead I guess the party couldn't wait lots of things can't seem too be able too wait things always seem too just jump out of nowhere and surprise me maybe I'm just unoberservant.

I get off my bed no matter how tempting it is too just sit in there and walk towards the kitchen too let her know, as soon as I step outside my door I can see her cutting up vegetables and watching the television when she can.

"Mum" I say as I put the phone back where it belongs

"Oh who was that" Mum asks

"Hayden his coming down tomorrow with his roommate Brock for a couple of days"

"Oh so his coming great" Mums face lights up "Tomorrow did you say oh god we have so much too do don't we tomorrow my late day isn't it so I guess we have too get the stuff too day not too mention will have too yes the lounge for you or Hayden too sleep on since we don't have a spare bedroom or you could just sleep with me, no i'm a too much of a light sleeper I'd wake you when I turn the Tv on Hayden can sleep on the lounge you just stay in your bed I think " Mum says rushing her words and clearly thinking out lout mum loves guests and she also loves fussing over them.

"I can go too the shop if you want" I say it's been a while since I've driven I still do but not nearly as much as I use too I see the flash of hesitance on mums face but she nods her head

"Properly a good idea, I'll write down a list" Mum says and then starts searching for a piece of paper mum finds one in a matter of seconds and begins jointing down things as quick as she can obviously thrilled at the idea of company and happy too plan for them.

"I'm glad Hayden is bringing a friend home that'll be a nice change" Mum says and rips the piece of paper off the sheet and hands it too me.

"Don't be long sweetheart and drive safe ok, oh and take my phone call if something goes wrong or whatever" Mum says thrusting at me as if too make sure I really do take it.

"I'll be fine" I tell her as I take the phone and make my exit.

It doesn't take long too get too the shops I was meant too go the Forks ones I'm pretty sure since that's where mum always goes but something made me go too La Push it was the same distance anywhere and mum would never find out anyway. Standing outside the mini mart I stared it, it was much smaller then the one if Forks if that was even possible and I hoped I could find everything. As soon as I opened the door it chimed and a blonde girl about my age looked over at me and then looked away obviously I wasn't interesting enough too capture he attension she looked bored and tired. There was barely anyone in this place besides an elderly women who looked like she was debaiting what type of butter too get I made my way back in search of coke, I looked at the list and almost laughed at how many things mum had written down she always over bought and I new if I bought pack less she'd be severly annoyed. Mum liked too be prepared, and I coudln't be bothered trying too show her how silly it really was. There was no option but too go back and get a trolly I grabbed the two things of coke and made my way back too the entrance of the store where the trolleys stood, I grabbed the nearest trolly and put the drink in there, I heard the door chime again and looked up on instinct too see two boys but that wasn't what made me jump for a moment and wonder if I could just disappear one of them was Devil he looked the same as that time on the beach except happier now he was with someone who looked like he could be his brother besides the fact that there bone structure was so different and his hair was shorter, I tried too look away from him knowing I was going to get caught starring but I just couldn't do it, I was drawn too him caught like a dear in headlights and forced too look straight ahead no matter how blinding in the lighting was and I hate that feeling of knowing what your doing is going too end badly.

The other one noticed because he looked over at me, confusion written on his face when he saw me starring at Devil like he didn't understand and I don't either I begged him not too tell his friend but of course he did he elbowed him in the ribs, and just like that Devil turned and met my gaze head on his look was like a shock too my system seeing him starring back was like an electrical current pulsing through me and I couldn't look away, it was unbearable starring but somehow looking away could be worse what was happening what was going on. The Devil stare seemed even more intense this time and relief seemed to flood his feature he looked over at me and smiled at me, I could tell he was walking towards me and I wanted too run so badly but I couldn't move it was like I was playing stuck in the mud but I honestly couldn't move this time I truly was stuck trapped I was gone.

When The Devil got close enough he smiled slowly at me as if he was taking me in all over again.

"Hey" His voice was just as rough as before and I was sure many girls before had day dreamed of him whispering sweet nothings in there ear with that voice.

Finally I managed too look away and shatter whatever that look was now that what should be called a breakthrough. I could hear his heavy breathing like he forgot to breath again and I looked up again this time careful no too look him in the eye like before I looked next too him and saw his friend.

"I'm Wolfie" He introduced him self in a relaxed way like he had been waiting too meet me he almost looked excited

"I'm ugh... Angel" I said finally being able to say my own name how pathic could I get

"We should be good friends, two names that are impossible not too make fun of" He laughed lightlty at his own joke and i tired too join in but I was too busy trying not too look at the Devil.

"Well I'm gonna go get some um food" He said awkwardly and I wanted too scream at him not leave me with the Devil but he did and I didn't say a word.

"I get the feeling I've done this before but hey" The Devil said

"Hi" I mumbled quietly starring at my feet and trying too think of ways too get away from him.

"I'm the devil if you don't remember but my real names Jack" He explained after a second when I didn't respond

"I have to get going I gotta get food for my mum and our guests" I said quickly finally remembering why I was here in the first place, Jack looked surprised by my sudden response and almost sad.

"I can help"

"No it's fine" I said looking at the trollery

"No trust me I'm a great shoppper" Jack said his voice conferdient and he grabbed the trolley off me easily and began wheeling it along as if we were old friends and this was completely normal, I couldn't think of anything too do but follow him.

"So what do you need" He asked me looking as me as if this was important and he would do anything too get it, I stared at him still trying too remember what I needed after a second I remmeber the list and pulled it out of my pocket and began too read it.

"Ceral coco pops Ceral" I said trying too sound confident I just had too get through this and then it would be over I'd never see him again I shouldn't have come too La Push in the first place it really was my own fault. The impluse now seemed stupid why couldn't I just have done things simply instead of complicated it

"I'm more of a rice bubbles kind of guy" Jack told me as he lead me towards where the ceral was

"I don't like Cerial" I admitted and I wasn't even sure why I bothered too tell him the fact

"Really I love it obbessed with it really, see my mum always insisted on cooking these elebrate breakfasts and all I ever wanted cerial you know like everyone else so I use too goo to Wolfie house and eat all there cerial sometimes I just came obbessed with it I guess you always want what you can't have" He explained

"Yeah you do" I agreed as I grabbed the Coco Pops

"So why are you getting Coco Pops then"

"My brother and his roommate are visiting" I said and then chucked them in the trolly

"That makes sense, what his roommate like"

"I don't know his names Brock I guess I will soon where sharing a room"

'Your sharing a room with a stranger" Jack said sounding very troubled by this news almost like he was jealous and angry I could tell he was trying to keep his voice controlled

I didn't answer him mainly because I wasn't sure how, before he could say anything else mums phone buzzed and I picked it up happy for the distraction.

"Hello" I said hoping it wasn't a client having a breakdown

"Mum is that you"

There was noise and in the backround and I couldn't hear Haydens voice clearly it sounded different though not the same. I pushed the phone closer too my ear.

"No, it's um me" I said quietly feeling aware that Jack was listening too the converstaion it made me feel awkward.

"Angel"

"Kyle" I said and I could tell my voice sounded as alarmed as I felt, and I dropped the phone like it was a hot potaoe dumping it on the ground.

"Angel, Angel, Angel don't hang up" I heard Chase shouting I picked up as quickly as possible and pressed the end button

"I have to go" I said without bothering too look at Jack I didn't want too see his reaction, instead I ran towards the car and began driving straight home. Running is something I do alot

Authors Note

So the quotes mostly I'm pretty sure there mine but sometimes I get confused so if you know said it tell me and I'll put it on there, um what else I hope you liked it please review and leave suggestions ideas whatever......


	3. To Truly Hurt Is To Truly Love

I don't know what it is about this story, but it gets me writing. Seriously, a couple of sad songs to listen to for it, and I can't stop writing.

If your wondering what I'm listening to, I just listen to the same playlist I made called Slow Songs, which includes: Taylor Swift, Mandy Moore, Keith Urban, Hey Monday, Oasis, Switchfoot, Justin Gaston, Miley Cyrus, Ryan Cabrera, Jimmy Eat World, Plain White Tees, James Taylor, Billy Ray Cyrus, and The Script. I think that's it any suggestions of songs to listen to is welcome. I love music more than writing, so um go for it.

Um I've decided to pick a song for each chapter, so what I think describes what is happening you know goes with the story sort of thing um so yeah oh and also leave suggestions of what you think should have been the song.

I Will Remember You Ryan Cabrera

Love Hurts

Chapter Three

To Be Truly Hurt Is To Truly Love

I drove as fast as I could, begging myself not too pull over and let the pain overtake me. It's not like I wasn't aware of his existence. I knew he was still breathing, and living just away from me- in a completely different place, but now he was connected to me. He knew about me now, when I was sure I was completely disconnected from him. I was almost sure we were no longer linked besides the same blood line, but now it never felt so clear he would know all about me. Mum would have told him in detail explaining her worries for me. He knew me. He knew a part of me, and I wanted to rip it away from him, because I didn't sign off on giving him anything, any part of me. I felt used and betrayed and my emotions were everywhere. I could feel my checks getting wet. My vision was blurry. I tried too concentrate on the road, and just keep starring straight ahead at the black road. Black, it matched my mood. Why did nothing ever seem too work out for me? Why was it that blackness always hovered near me? Always ready too cover the color that was surrounding me? It's like living with a shadow constantly covering your sunshine. And there was nothing I could do about it. I saw a car in front of me. A pick up trust rusted and over used. I hated it for reminding me of him, somehow an old pick up truck reminded me of him. It reminded me of Kyle. How could she do that? Open an door that was so clearly locked. I was sure I had thrown the key away, and yet she thought she had the right to go get the key. Why couldn't she just let him go? Didn't I deserve that? Didn't she deserve that? We deserved to be free of him, of everything, and yet she was intentionally pulling us back, maybe she was just a better person than me. Maybe she just still loved him. I felt a stab in my heart knowing I still loved him. Unconditional love is a killer it's meant to be a good thing, but it tears you apart. The only thing that seems to be able to make me forget about the fact I still loved him was distance ,was pretending he was a chapter in my life that was gone. Yet he was still so clearly being written into my life story still.

I pulled into the driveway sharply, maybe for the thrill of the sound of the gravel scattering around scratching the car, and annoying mum. Had I really come down to something as petty as that? Was I that girl? What was I? I got out of the car, and took a breath. I wasn't going to storm in. I couldn't. I just wanted him to have never called. I wanted this to have never happened. I wanted him to take back what he had done. I wanted none of this. I hadn't felt this much in so long, and I prayed for the numbness to come back and overtake me. I walked slowly towards the door, taking my time. I knew Mum would have seen the headlights, probably relieved I made it back ok. I opened the door quietly, and passed my mother in the kitchen. She looked up at me interest in her forest green eyes.

"Angel, where are the groceries?" Mum asked, confusion etched on her pretty features. I stared at her, and put the money down on the table

"I didn't get any."

"Why did something happen? Are you alright?" Mum's voice became frantic with worry, and I could feel her looking me up and down to see if there were any injuries on me.

I stared at her, and put the phone on the table without saying a word.

"Kyle called," I said, keeping any kind of emotion in my voice out. Mum's eyes went wide with surprise and wonder. I turned away, and walked to my room, closing the door behind me. She didn't even say anything. What was there to say? I thought about calling Hayden, but what was there to say? For all I knew, he was talking to Kyle. Maybe I was the only one that couldn't talk to him. Did that make me the bad guy? Instead, I closed my eyes, and hoped when I woke up tomorrow, I would realize it was all some messed up dream, that I wouldn't think about again.

I woke up to the sound of footsteps. I opened my eyes to see my mother anxiously hovering over me. She smiled at me as soon as I locked eyes with hers, and I just wanted to look away. I just didn't want to deal with this, to talk about it, or deal with her, and explanations, and her reasoning. Because it was her right to talk to Kyle. After all, what was there to say in the first place? She hurt me, sure, but there was nothing she could do to undo it.

"Sweetheart, time to get up." Mum explained in a soft, sweet voice, and I can see how truly worried she was about me.

"I'm not going." I said.

"Sweetie, I know that me talking to Kyle upsets you, but you have too understand...."

"I don't want to understand. I want the day off Mum, that's it please. I'll be fine."

"It's more healthy if we talk about it." Mum said in her I- know-best voice, but she knew nothing.

"Mum, nothing about this is healthy. Let me have a day off. I'll welcome Hayden and Brock, since you don't get home till seven. It's really a good idea, just let me think."

"Honey, I think you should..."

"One day, Mum. Just one day to get over this, please?"

"Alright, but we will talk about this later." Mum said, giving up in defeat. I could hear the worry and guilt in her voice, but I ignored it and shut my eyes tightly, trying to get back to sleep. Before I knew it, the world managed to finally fade out, and I was sleeping again. I was away, just away. I didn't dream. I was never a good dreamer, I just slept. I woke a couple of times, and all I could think about what was not walking home today. Once a week, Mum had to work till 8, and I was meant to catch the bus. I never did, I just always told her I did. Instead I walked home. It took me two and a half hours. It was really relaxing. Let me think, just enjoy nature, my surroundings, unless it was rainy. Then it was the worst, but anything was better than catching the bus, and having to always request to be dropped off in the middle of nowhere. People knowing where I lived and talking about how I lived in the middle of nowhere, in a tiny house. Too much attention would come out of that. I didn't want attention, besides, I figured walking was good for me.

"Dude, there's a hot girl in my room."

The sound of a deep surprised voice made me jolt awake, and open my eyes. For a second, I wasn't sure where I was, and then I saw the figure standing over me. Oh my god, where was I? Finally, I managed to see I was in my room. I stared up at the guy scared and confused. He was tall, six foot and broad shouldered, well built with brown hair and clear blue eyes. He was attractive and looked at me, like I wasn't meant to be here, in my own room, like I was the intruder. I flinched away from him.

"Who are you?" I asked trying to keep my voice calm, and less scared. Wasn't it true that you weren't supposed to show the killer that you were weak? Wasn't that protocol?

"Brock, who are you?" He asked.

"You're Brock?" I said, looking at him. Now I felt stupid. Of course he was. He even looked like a football player. I felt stupid, really stupid. He, on the other hand, looked completely lost. Before I could even explain anything, I saw Hayden enter the room. He looked exactly the same as always: happy and home. He looked like home.

"Hay!" I said jumping out of bed in excitement, and swinging my arms around him. Hayden hugged me back instantly. He even smelt like home. I missed that smell more then anything in the world. We pulled apart after a second and Hayden looked me up and down as if trying to work something out.

"Are you sick?" He asked.

"No."

"Then why aren't you at school?"

"Couldn't do it today," I said brushing off the subject, "I'm glad your here," I said, not being able to bear saying the word home. This place wasn't home. It was just a waiting place, an in between place. I just wasn't sure what I was waiting for. I wasn't sure of much anymore.

"Me too. You look good,and I see you've met Brock. Brock, this is my sister Angel. Angel, this is Brock." Hayden said.

Brock looked a tad embarrassed for a second, and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Argh sorry. I um, forgot Hayden had a sister, for um a second. Stupid really, he talks about you all the time." Brock said sheepishly.

"That's fine, I should have realized who you were." I mumbled awkwardly.

"Oh well, it uh doesn't matter now." Brock said awkwardly.

"The drive down was good, but I'm seriously hungry. We're gonna go to the diner for something to eat, you wanna come?"

"Finally food! The whole way down here, he refused to stop at McDonald's, claiming they served the best food down here, and I had to get a taste for your town, or something equally as stupid." Brock grumbled, and then looked over at me and rolled his eyes.

I liked Brock. He was one of those naturally easy to like guys, even if he was a tad selfish. Properly one of the few football players, if he was a football player in high school, who would talk to anyone unpopular. He was a good guy, and clearly, a popular guy, just by the way he looked and carried himself. It was a nice feeling to know my brother had a good friend. I tried to smile at him, and play a long with a joke. It was odd talking to people around my own age, people I didn't know. When I did, it felt odd, nice, but odd. It was foreign to me, which I know isn't a good thing. Sad really, but it's just the way things seem to be, for me. It's like when you see a man on the street, and wonder how he can live like that, and he seems to sort of except it. I guess it's like that in a way, but not as bad, because I set myself up for the way I live, and I'm content with it. Some people just aren't cut out for friendship.

"Sure, just let me get changed."

"Please don't take forever like all girls do, I'm starving." Brock begged.

"Don't worry, she's not that kind of girl." Hayden assured him as they both left the room, and he was right. I just wasn't. I stopped caring really, I wore things that help me fade, become unnoticed. Nothing weird or baggy, just normal clothes that everyone seemed too own. It didn't take me long to find something to wear, as I searched for a necklace, for some reason I felt the need to wear one, which was odd in and of itself, because I hadn't worn one for ages. I saw IT. THE necklace. IT was buried under a colorful and bright chunky one, that I never wore, because of how bright it was. There IT was. A silver necklace with a K hanging off it, starring at me.

I closed my eyes and remembered the scene. I didn't mean to look back on it. I knew it was bad for me to remember it. I knew I would regret it, but somehow I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't stop myself from seeing something that caused me more pain then anything in the world. I would always remember it. I would always remember him.

_"Take it." Kyle said, his eyes pleading with me to just except it._

_I stared at him, wondering why he wanted me to._

_"Kyle, I just told you I never wanted to see you again." I said quietly letting the tears fall down my face. Kyle looked at them, and his face twisted into a whole new level of sadness. If only he knew it was killing me, as much as it was killing him._

_"I know Angel, I know just take it." He begged. His voice was getting more desperate, as if he sensed time was running out._

_"But why?" I sobbed, now letting the tears fall down my face more, and more. I just couldn't control them._

_"Because I wore this before everything changed, hun. When you see it, I want you to see me, the one you loved." Kyle said, and I saw his eyes becoming glassy._

_"I still love you." I whispered as he pushed the necklace in my hand._

_"Just don't forget." Kyle begged._

_"I will remember you," I promised him "I just I can't..." My voice cracked, and I felt sick to the stomach._

_"I know. I understand. It's ok, I love you." Kyle said._

_"I love you too." I said, and then walked away, not being able to stand there, and look at him anymore._

I blinked back tears that were forming, just at remembering. I couldn't go back and think, and think about any of this. It hurt too much, for one. On the other hand, what good was it going to do? None. I took the necklace and slipped it around my neck. I let the K hide under my top, like I was hiding my hurt. I knew it was wrong, what I was doing was only hurting myself, but I couldn't help it. I missed him, and I hated that more than anything.

I opened the door to my room and walked towards the voices that were coming from the kitchen. Hayden was talking quietly.

"She's a good kid." Hayden explained.

"She seems nice." Brock replied.

"Yeah, she's my little sister, my best friend."

I entered the room then, not wanting to hear more, or maybe just satisfied with the answer.

"I'm ready." I declared quietly.

"Whoa, you do get ready fast." Brock said, clearly amazed.

Hayden laughed, and smiled at me, "Come on, lets get going."

It was a quiet ride to the diner. I almost lost my breath when I remembered my brother's favorite Diner was in La Push. I forgot how he declared it was just somehow better than the one in Forks, said there was just something about it, how he used to drag me there, when ever he could. God, he went there so much. Everyone knew him. How could I forget it was in La Push? Jack was in La Push. That boy was there, and that made me nervous.

We pulled up right outside. Parking wasn't really a problem here at all, since no one ever really came. Hayden took a deep breath.

"Smell that? Smells like the best damn food ever." Hayden told both of us.

"You're building it up too much man. That only leads to disappointment." Brock said, slapping him on the back good naturedly, and following him towards the Diner.

"Or greatness." Hayden corrected. The door dinged as we stepped in. It looked the same as the last time I had been here, which must have been over a year ago. The woman serving the counter looked over, and beamed at us.

"Hayden your back!" She cried. She must have been in her mid 40s, and I could vaguely remember her, but not that much. I didn't come nearly as much as Hayden did.

"Yeah, and I brought customers."

"Good, Good sweetheart." She said smiling at him "How's school, hun?"

"Great, loving it!"

"I'm glad. Well take a seat, and I'll be over in a second."

"Will do Missy." Hayden said, and walked towards a booth and slipping in. Brock slipped in on the other side, and I slipped in next to my brother. Brock picked up the menu, I'm gonna guess on instinct, and Hayden frowned. He grabbed it from him straight away.

"What are you doing?"

"Reading the menu." Brock said in a no duh kind of way.

"You don't need to. You want a burger and a milkshake. That's the only option, nothing else."

"It better be good." Brock muttered.

Before anyone could say any more, or bother with small talk. Missy was in front of us, looking just as happy as before.

"So I'm guessing the usual times three."

"It's nice you still remember." Hayden said with a grin.

"Well, you were my favorite and best customer. Shouldn't be too long darlin'. " Missy said grinning at us. "Good to have you home."

"Thanks." Hayden said.

The door dinged, and Missy looked up. "Have to get going love." She explained, and wandered off, towards the customers.

We all looked at each other, not sure what to say.

"So you're in love with Lisa?" I blurted out.

Brock looked over at me, surprised, and rubbed the back of his neck, while scowling at Hayden. "Yeah I am." He admitted. "But she doesn't seem to care."

"Have you told her that?" I asked, surprised by my own boldness.

"Um, no. I don't wanna scare her. I just sort of keep turning up where she is asking her out, and um, getting turned down." Brock explained honestly, I liked that quality in him. I was sure Hayden loved that about him too.

"Why do you love her?" I hedged.

"Um, cause it's like my whole life is football, you know? It's one thing, and she's this other thing, and I need her to enjoy football, otherwise everything feels like nothing."

"Have you told her that? " I asked, I was surprised yet again by how much I was saying, and how confident I was. Maybe it was because I was around Hayden. Hayden seemed to bring out the best in me, or maybe it was just that I hated seeing sadness, or maybe I just liked Brock enough to care. It felt great to care about something outside Mum and Hayden.

"Um no."

"You should. She probably thinks she's just a novelty. I'm gonna guess she over thinks everything, and saying you like her to her sounds like she's different and your gonna get bored. If you explain it like that, she'll believe you. You have to explain it to her. Take away the doubt."

"Fuck, yeah. That makes sense. What are you, like a love guru or something? Shit I should have asked you ages ago!" Brock exploded, and I'm pretty sure the whole joint heard. I slouched my shoulders, and blushed.

"Argh, um sorry, I have to call her, and tell her that!"

"It'd be better in person." Hayden jumped in.

"I have to do this now, my last try. If she doesn't call back, then I give up." Brock explained, pulling out his phone, and beginning to dial a number. I wasn't sure if it was sad, or sweet. He knew her number by heart. Then he began saying what he had just said to me, adding a call me at the end, and hanging up.

"Did you just say that to her voicemail?" I asked, shocked.

"Um, yes, why? Is that bad?"

"No, it's fine." I couldn't find it in me to tell him how bad that probably was, and Hayden didn't seem to be able to either, because we both swapped looks. Before anymore was said the door dinged again. I looked up by reaction, and I think I almost died when I saw him. He had just walked in with his friend Wolfie. They were both in old jeans and old shirts, and were chatting. He hadn't seen me yet, and my heart was already racing. I could feel my body dying for him to look at me, but I couldn't do it again. I couldn't get lost in his look again. Instead I slouched even more, so you could barely see me, and moved closer towards my brother.

"What are you doing?" Brock asked.

"Nothing." I mumbled awkwardly, trying to hide from him, while keeping track of him. He was talking to Missy, and they seemed to know each other.

Brock looked behind me, and Hayden followed his gaze to Jack and Wolfie.

"Don't look!" I hissed

"You're hiding from them. Do you like him or something?" Brock asked, interest in his voice.

"No, I just.."

"Are you afraid of him?" Hayden asks, and I could hear the protectiveness in his voice.

"No." I whispered. I mean, I was scared of him, sure, but for different reasons then Hayden would think. I was scared of why i felt compelled to just stare at him. I was scared of the fact I liked looking at him, and I was scared of him, because when I was near him it felt like something clicked, and I desperately wished it didn't. I was scared, alright, but how could I explain that to my brother? I tugged on the K necklace awkwardly.

"Then why are you hiding?" Brock asked, completely confused.

"I'm not hiding!" I hissed. I looked over, and I could see them walking towards this booth to sit in one beside it. He probably wouldn't see me, but somehow I knew he would. He'd feel the need to look this way, like I did, but then again, maybe it was just me. Maybe I was in this alone.

"Start talking about something." I whispered again.

Hayden shot me a confused look. Luckily, Brock was quick on his feet. 'Cause he started talking.

"Look, what I'm trying to say is, you gotta play it hard and fast. Stop mucking around on the field, when you're out there, you gotta just keep playing. You gotta stop thinking. You have to realize there is nothing better than this, and if you don't feel that, then you may as well not be playing this game and give up now." Brock voice boomed with confidence and leadership.

"Yeah, it's gotta be play or die." Hayden joined in.

"Not try and play." Brock voiced. "It's gotta be a need, not a want. It's gotta be......"

"Angel." A rough voice, like gravel said.

I looked up, and sure enough, there he was standing at the end of the table with Wolfie. They were both looking at me surprised, and he was looking at me, making me look back. We were both so lost, so completely lost, and I couldn't escape. I was being sucked into this vortex he created, and I didn't care. I was happy to go there. I was happy to go anywhere. I felt someone grab my arm, and I turned, breaking the connection. It was Hayden, and he looked at me completely confused.

"Um, oh sorry." I mumbled awkwardly.

Hayden started sizing him up, and Brock joined in. I guess in loyalty to Hayden. I shifted awkwardly, wishing he wasn't here right now, really wishing. When I was little I use to make wishes when I blew out my candles every birthday, and then it happened. That coming birthday I didn't make a wish, I stopped wishing, and a clench of hurt hit my stomach at the thought. That was the year I truly stopped being a child in all ways.

"I'm Jack." Jack said, his rough voice sounding confident.

"Hayden." Hayden said, his voice guarded, which was weird, because Hayden's voice was always friendly and open, I'd never heard him be so cold.

"Brock." Brock said, following Hayden's lead.

"I'm Wolfie." Wolfie said, calmly.

The boys had a stare off, and I could feel them just starring at each other, as if working out what to do next. I could feel Hayden's eyes on Jack, and I made the mistake of looking up at him, and the connection come flooding back as soon as his eyes met mine. We were both lost again, and I could feel myself losing touch with reality, until I felt a kick under the table from Brock. I snapped out of it, casting my eyes down, feeling as if I had done something wrong.

"Are you ok?" Jack asked, his voice so filled with concern, it was almost scary, but at the same time soothing. I remembered the last time I had seen him, and I grabbed my necklace at the thought.

"Everything's fines" I said, trying to keep emotion out of my voice.

Jack leaned forward, and I couldn't find it in myself to pull back. He moved so close it was scary, his face just inches from my check. I could feel his body heat, my heart hammering in my chest, and I couldn't breathe.

"I don't believe you." He whispered, his voice rough, and sending shivers up my spine. Before I could even think, he pulled away, back to where he was before, and Hayden looked like he wanted to kill him. Jack, on the other hand, looked completely fine.

"Move it boys." Missy said shoving past them easily "You come here expecting free food and now you're harassing the customers. Wait till I tell your mothers, huh."

"Sorry Aunty Missy." Jack said rolling his eyes.

"Rolling your eyes. Real cute, now get, hun. Go find your own booth. I don't think these boys are too happy to see you." She said, and made a shooing gesture.

"See you." Jack said, casually, but he made it sound like it meant so much more. Before I could get caught up in another look, I looked down at my hands.

Missy placed our plates in front of us. "Don't mind Jack and Wolfie, one of them is my nephew and the other one, well they seem to come in a package deal. His staring, well, I'm not sure.. What was that? That's really, to be honest , he's normally not that um.."

"Close to my sister." Hayden hissed in annoyance.

Missy laughed awkwardly. "Well, enjoy." Missy said, and hurried off.

"What was that?" Hayden demanded, not even looking at his food, that he normally gulped down in two bites.

"I think she's his Lisa." Brock filled in.

Now it was my turn to kick him under the table. Brock flinched, but didn't do anything.

"He's no one, come on, lets just eat." I mumbled, awkwardly, and took a bite of my burger. I could feel all eyes on me, and I tried to ignore them. After a while, Hayden gave up on just starring at me. He wasn't the type of person to ask questions. He waited for the person to come to him. I had a feeling he'd try that route, so with a shake of his head, he took a bite of his food and a smile came across his face. Brock joined him.

"You were right this is fucking good." Brock yelled.

"Told you." Hayden said, smiling.

It felt like everything that had just happened was forgotten, well at least for now. What was going on? The thought scared me, because I didn't have a clue.

Authors Note

So what do you think? I hope you like it. Please review, and give me your thoughts. They mean the world to me, and tell me what you think the song for this chapter should be. Leave ideas, suggestions, whatever just um, tell me what you think.

B.C


	4. True Love Is Unforgettable

Authors Note:

It's been ages since writing a story has been this easy, reminds me why I love it so much, you know.

Love Hurts

Chapter Four

"To die for someone you love is easy, to live for someone you love is hard, to forget someone you love is impossible.

-Anonymous

My skin was tingling, my pulse was racing, and I couldn't even pretend to be listening to Brock about how he realized he loved football. I felt sick to my stomach, yet oddly pleasant at the thought he was looking at me. I was in this sick and twisted game, and I could just feel him staring. The only confident I had was that I knew my brother had no idea that he was staring. It was odd really, it was like we're connected. I could feel him when he was looking at me.

It was like I was being pulled towards him and my heart was racing at the thought of him staring at me, my head was cloudy and I could barely think correctly, the world surrounding me was fading away at the thought that he was looking over at me. I hated the feeling and loved it. I was torn. I was feeling too much, I was in overload and I needed to escape.

Hayden still hadn't forgotten about Jack, but he had obviously put it at the back of his mind and was trying to enjoy his second round of food. That's right, his second round. I had been feeling like this for an hour and my breathing was becoming more and more uneven. I was at my breaking point, I was losing control and I wasn't really sure of what I was losing control of, but I was losing.

I took a deep breath and Hayden looked over to see if I was okay. I could see the concern in his eyes, I could see him wondering if he should bring it up or not. He wasn't an over thinker like me, but he was practical and careful and I knew he was debating whether or not to bring it up since Brock was here, and I prayed he went with the not.

"I need to go to the bathroom," I said, to stop any words forming out of his mouth.

Words were scary, words were either honest or lies, and either one was deadly, there never is a safe option with words. I hate that about life, nothing ever seems to be safe, there's no security, nothing is ever for certain, it's like a huge mess and we all spend our lives not trying to clean it up, but trying to contain it and handling it instead of just tackling it head on. Hayden looked over at me and I shot him a everything-is-fine-look back. I knew he didn't really believe me, I could see the hesitance in his eyes.

"So, Hay, do you feel like pie?" Brock asked, his face happy like a child's face at Christmas.

Hayden turned, distracted, and I made my getaway. For a second I couldn't see the bathrooms, it was one of those moments where I was wondering if they even had bathrooms, but sure enough I found them. The bathrooms were clean which was relief. I stared into the mirror and splashed water on my face to wash off whatever I was feeling, but even as I looked at myself again, my face slightly wet, I knew the only thing I had washed off was nothing. I hadn't even put on make up today.

I stared at the mirror. Why did he keep looking? I wasn't eye catching, I was a shadow. My hair was brown, flat brown, and my hair wasn't dead straight or amazingly curly, it was wavy but not overly so, my eyes weren't a brilliant blue, they were a light one that sometimes looked grey, my nose wasn't huge and neither were my lips. I was just so ordinary. My skin wasn't really tanned, but it wasn't really white either, it was just skin.

Why was he staring, what about me was worth starring at? I knew how people worked, if you didn't make yourself a big deal then they didn't make you one, if you ignored them then they ignored you, if you didn't look at them they didn't look at you, if you looked content then they assumed you were. So what was it that made him look over at me and not look away, what was it, what was it?

I heard the bathroom door open and I pretended to start washing my hands so I looked normal to whoever it was. I heard the footsteps coming nearer and then I felt it. I felt the stare. I lifted my head up and he was right in front of me, meters from me. I couldn't breath, I couldn't move. What was he doing here, didn't he know? Didn't he know anything? Didn't he know this was a ladies room? What was he doing and why couldn't I find it in myself to move even though that was all I wanted to do? His face was moving closer and closer to mine and we were inches apart now and I couldn't move. I was stuck. How did he always manage to have that effect on me, how could he do that, he stopped me dead in my tracks.

"I'm gonna kiss you now, not 'cause I want too, because I need too," Jack whispered to me when he was inches from my lips, and I wanted to cry.

What was he doing so close to my face? Why was he doing this, what was going on? I could feel the tear slide down my face. This strange man was going steal my first kiss just because he had this power over me and I didn't even know him. I felt his hand touch my check sending shivers down my body. His hand was so hot and it rested on my skin making it burn. He wiped the tear away and I could see agony in his eyes, like he didn't understand. When it was all simple, it felt simple in the most confusing way.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, his voice was rough and strained like he was fighting an urge stronger then anything in the world.

"Please don't kiss me," I begged, my voice cracked and I knew I sounded desperate but I was, I was desperate not too be sucked into something else I couldn't control. It took him seconds to be on the other side of the room, his face twisted in self loathing. He looked towards me, all his perfect features stared at me and I couldn't look away once again.

"I'm sorry, I misread the signs. I thought when you said bathroom you wanted to, um, meet up," he explained.

He looked ashamed of himself and I almost wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault. I knew then that he was use to this, use to girls looking and staring and wanting him. This probably wasn't the first time he had been in a girls bathroom ,and I was not the first girl he had ever tried to kiss in a girls bathroom, and for some reason that stung me to know I wasn't the first. I was merely just one, one in the many and I hated myself for feeling that.

I didn't say anything I looked at the ground and walked towards the door, I opened it and turned towards him. He was watching, waiting for me to do something, but there was nothing to do. I looked away and walked out of the bathroom. I walked away, I just walked away.

They say your first steps are important, hell, some people are even video taped. They mean something and as I walked away I knew these steps were meaning so much greater then I knew it felt like. There was more then this connection, it felt like something was pulling me back. I turned back again it was one of those moments I knew would be either the best thing ever or the worse thing ever.

He was still standing there, watching me, his face sad, broken, he was leaning against the wall and I couldn't help but stare at him. He was beautiful, it was as simple as that, his black hair party covering his right eye, the way his hands were shoved into his pockets, the dark navy of his eyes that were piercing into my dull blue ones. He looked beautiful, he looked beautifully broken. He looked too good for me, too good for anyone, and I pushed myself to say something, anything, something to remember this moment. I wanted him to know that I didn't hate him. I needed him to know something, anything, I just needed him to know.

"I don't hate you," I whispered.

I didn't wait too see his reaction, instead I turned and closed the door, leaving him there alone and I wondered briefly if what happened then was really meaningful as I thought it was. I could see Brock and Hayden still at the table, Brock looked over at me and waved, happy to see me I guess he really was a friendly person, wasn't he.

"We're going," he said, getting out of the seat.

I tried not to laugh at the bites of pie around the corners of his mouth, he looked over at me and smiled. Hayden stayed back to say good bye to Missy while Brock lead the way to the car. As soon as we were outside Brock looked at me as if he was trying to work out what to say. I glanced over at Hayden and saw him laughing with Missy, he seemed so relaxed, he seemed so happy, there was a foreign emotion.

"You just had bathroom sex," Brock finally burst out, his voice was loud, and a women in her 60's with her grandson scowled at me. I turned bright red.

"No, I didn't."

"Look, I'm not telling Hayden, but I saw him follow you in there, and you too were all lookin' at each other weird and then he follows you into the bathroom. It equal bathroom sex."

"No it doesn't, he just said something to me."

"Yeah, and I can spell long words," Brock scoffed, rolling his eyes.

I could see he was trying to be as serious and as cool as possible, but the food on his face was ruining it. That and the fact I don't think I could have been redder. I felt like dying on the spot. I hadn't even been kissed and yet Brock seemed so sure I was having sex, it was like a twisted version of a health lesson. I wanted to keel over and die to end this torture.

"He honestly did," I said looking him straight in the eye so he could see I wasn't lying, instead, Brock looked at me and let out a huge smile on his face.

"And so then I said, 'Well, if you want to get married, then okay!'"

"What are you two talking 'bout," Hayden asked from behind me, and I suddenly understood why Brock said what he said.

"I'm not, I was just telling her a joke."

"What joke?" Hayden asked as he fished for his keys in his pocket.

A part of me knew I should properly help Brock, but I just couldn't say anything. It was just so amusing, watching him think up crazy ideas and try and make them make sense, it was like he still a five year old boy, instead of someone in College.

"Um, it was crap," Brock informed him as he opened the door. Hayden had managed to locate his keys and we all got in the car. Hayden looked over at him.

"All your jokes are crap, but I'm curious now," Hayden pushed as he started the engine and turned on the radio. He did the same thing Mum did, he liked background music as well.

"It was just a chicken cross the road joke" Brock said in complete panic. I gave him the what-the-hell look and he seemed to be thinking the same thing 'cause I could see the flash of what did I just say cross his face.

"Well, tell it then," Hayden encouraged.

"Why did the bride cross the road?"

"I dunno, why?" Hayden asked.

"And so then I said, well if you want too get married then okay," Brock said and then burst out laughing at the joke that made no sense, in a desperate attempt to help him, I joined. Once we both had finished our forced laughter, Hayden gave us both the most confused look.

"I don't get it."

"Guess you're not smart enough," Brock said, patting his shoulder sympathetically and winking at me.

"But it doesn't make any—"

"Just let it go Hayden, we can't get em' all can we?"

Hayden shook his head in confusion and went back to driving. The drive home was quiet and every now and then amusing, depending on what Brock was ranting on about next and as we pulled up I realized I hadn't felt that happy in a while, dark thoughts hadn't hit my head and it was a nice feeling, a light feeling, a right feeling.

As soon as we opened the door to the house I checked the time, three o'clock. Four hours before Mum would come home and insist on making dinner and asking all about the boy's life, every single detail. She had a habit of interrogating guests or as she called it, getting to know them. Hayden always said she would have made a great cop.

We all filed in and flopped in front of the TV, putting in some movie that the boy's insisted on and I feel asleep next to Hayden and for the first time in a long time I dreamed. It was prom, which was weird since I had already figured I wouldn't be attending mine, and I was all dressed up. I was waiting at the door for someone and I was anxious, but in a good way and the doorbell rang and rang and rang, and I woke up in a jolt when I realized the door bell was actually ringing. Both the boys had dozed off to but neither had woken up.

I stumbled towards the door and opened it expecting to see Mum in front of me, claiming she left her keys at the office and didn't have time to go back and get them. Instead I saw a girl. She must have been about 19 or 20 hard to tell. She had jet black hair and pale skin and these big greens eyes, she was very pretty. She was dressed in a pretty flower skirt that went to her knees and a plain white top. She looked at me a little confused and I could tell she was obviously not sure who I was.

"Um, is Brock here," she asked her, voice was kind sounding but mostly nervous. She fiddled with the hem on her skirt and looked at me as if she was trying to work out who I was, which is an odd feeling when someone comes to your house.

"Um yeah, argh who are you?"

"Oh, sorry, I'm Lisa who are you?" she asked. So this is Lisa, she looked like one too. Wait Lisa had came. Oh god, Brock was going be over the moon. I could just picture his happy face at the idea of her turning up,

"You're Lisa? I've heard about you, I'm Angel, Hayden's sister."

Lisa looked relieved for a second and smiled again more warmly. "Good, I thought coming down here could have been a waste of my time for a second."

"No waste, he talks about you a lot and I've only known him for a couple of hours."

Lisa blushed and I smiled at her. They would look so cute together. "Do you wanna come in?"

"Oh, um, yeah thanks."

I smiled and lead her towards Brock, he was lying on the lounge now spread out since I left his head was on Hayden's chest and he was drooling, well at least she'd seen the bad now. Lisa looked at him and let out a small laugh. Brock opened his eyes at that sound yet he managed to sleep through a doorbell, but not her laugh. It was so sickeningly sweet, wasn't life though. "Lisa, Lisa, LISA!" Brock said jumping up and wiping the drool from his mouth, he looked straight at me.

"You we're fucking right!" he yelled, picked me up, and span me around before dropping me to the floor.

He then tried going for the calmer look by stopping the smile and turning it into a smirk. Lisa looked at him and smiled gently. I looked over and now saw Hayden was completely awake and watching the scene unfold right in front of his eyes just like me.

"Hey, I, um, got your message," Lisa said quietly.

"Oh, um, cool," Brock mumbled.

"And, is it…um, is it true?"

Brock looked at her then a smile spread across his face. "I'm not a deep guy so when I think shit like that it means something, you mean something, you mean everything."

Lisa looked at him, "I thought I was a faze."

"That's gonna last the rest of my life."

Hayden made a gagging noise, luckily neither of them heard it, too caught up in their world. They were staring at each other and it was the kind of love that deserved to be in movies. I stared at both of them and tried to ignore the envy that washed over me.

Brock moved forward and kissed her, then both Hayden and I looked away and slowly made our exit, knowing we weren't meant to be there for whatever was going to happen next.

Three hours later, Brock stumbled into my room where both Hayden and I had been hanging out, his face was all dreamy like and he looked like he had just won a million bucks, he looked like he had just experienced bliss.

"Congratulations man," Hayden said.

"Yeah, she, um, had to leave for school, sadly. She has a test tomorrow, but she came down to see me, can you believe that?" he asked us, his face was filled with surprise and happiness it was bliss, it was love, it was sweet, it was Brock.

I smiled a real smile, the kind where your face transforms because of it. I hadn't done that in so long and it felt good, it felt right, it felt like something once again made sense. A piece of me was found, a piece I missed and I clinged to it hard, this piece was my smile and it felt good. I could feel Hayden looking at me with surprise and he reached out and put his arm around me in a proud kind of way. Brock flopped down on the bed and then turn towards us.

"My life is now complete," Brock said to us in a completely serious tone. "I'm probably going to live for eternity just 'cause she came she makes me feel alive."

"Knock on wood," I say knocking my hand on my bedside table.

"What did you just do?" Brock asked, giving me a weird look.

"I knocked on wood."

"What for?"

"Cause you jinxed it, sort of, it's a thing," I tried to explain.

For as long as I could remember I had knocked on wood, it was just something that I did and having to explain it was just weird, it was a habit, a thing I did automatically. I remember how it use too drive Kyle insane, he use to always say why not knock on steal huh? God, was I coming to this? Was I thinking about him again, the door was wide open now and I couldn't force it close. It was going to stay like this forever and I couldn't control it. I bite down on my lip and tried to shrug off the feeling of being overwhelmed by just the thought.

"I don't get it."

"Well, I just did you a favor"

"By knocking on wood?"

"Um, sort of."

"So, if I knocked on wood for you, would that somehow help you out?"

"Well, it depends on what I say, it's more like…"

"Honey!" Mum calls, her voice is anxious, probably worried I've done something stupid or will never forgive her. She bursts into the room.

"Saved by the bell," Hayden says with a laugh, and gets up to Mum who has launched herself at him, obviously over the moon happy to see him.

She hugs him tightly and whispers in his ear how proud she is. Hayden is Mum's shinning late, the happy child, the easy going, smart, makes friends easy, set for life child, and as she hugs him I know she's hugging the one thing she knows is going to do great things. After she finally releases Hayden she turns to Brock. He stands up awkwardly and smiles at her.

"Hey Ms. Um, it's nice to meet you."

"Call me Julie hon, it's so nice to meet one of Hayden's friends," Mum beams and then wraps her arms around him, giving him a hug. "So tell me about that football you play," Mum says as soon as she lets him go. Brock smiles and then begins to explain it in amazing detail.

I knew it was gonna be a long night, but I didn't mind because I was happy, not amazingly so, but something in me was changing and I was loving it. I was smiling, it was nice things were becoming nice.

I climbed into bed, it was 11 o'clock and Brock had already gotten into his. His hair was covering his eyes and he was faced towards my bed. Mum had made dinner and then we had watched the movie Speed on TV and in the AD breaks Mum grilled both the boys and asked about there romantical status in which Brock replied, "in love," which after that was all Mum ever talked about, and how upset she was when she didn't met Lisa, and how she should come down.

Mum was practically jumping up and down with the idea of an "in love" couple staying here. She loved all that gooey stuff that was Mum, though, always a constant believer in love and fate, no matter what she had never stopped. Listening to Mum talk sometimes was inspiring, she was inspiring, the world needs more inspiring things.

"So, you didn't have bathroom sex?" Brock whispered, I looked over at him surprised.

"No, we just…nothing happened."

"I believe you."

"Thanks."

"Anytime," Brock said and I could tell he was ready to fall asleep.

Now he was relaxed and it was endearing he cared so much about me when he hardly knew me. I could tell he was one of those people he was a lover, not a hater, he was a carer, not a fixer, he just cared, it was one of the best qualities to have.

"Hey Brock, is Hayden okay at college? Is he happy, is he fitting in?"

I knew the question was stupid since Hayden fit in anywhere, people were just drawn to him, he was the kid that had five billion friends instantly, but somehow I just had to make sure he was happy. Make sure he really was okay, he wasn't the type to tell you if something was bugging him, he would just ignore it. When everything changed Hayden never showed it affected him, he wasn't cold he just kept on looking forward.

I saw him cry once and it was for Kyle, it was the most heartbreaking thing to see because I realized that Hayden, my big brother, wasn't invincible, it's scary when you realize your brother is human like that, just plain scary. I'll never forget the look on his face when he realized I was witnessing his tears. He said sorry like he was apologizing for something he didn't even do. I wanted to tell him he didn't have to apologize, but I knew it wouldn't help so I turned away and acted like I hadn't seen him breaking down, because I knew that he didn't want me to remember that, remember seeing him like that, but it's impossible to forget something like that, impossible.

Brock looked at me and smiled, "He's fine, everyone loves him. I mean everyone knows him, he's like everyone's friend, he's the go to guy, but sometimes I think he misses home, you know. He's the only guy I know in our dorm that still calls his sister whenever he can or checks on his Mum or doesn't groan when his parents call, he loves you guys, I think he feels guilty for leaving you."

"Me too," I whispered as I turned off the light so we were in pitch black now. I didn't want to see the questions plainly whispered on Brocks face, the ones I wouldn't answer.

"He's a great guy, he's my best friend really," Brock went on and I could picture him smiling fondly at the thought.

"Does he like anyone?" I asked

"Na, not really, lots of people like him he just doesn't seem that interested in a girlfriend."

We fell into silence after that leaving me with my thoughts and his. After a while I thought Brock had fallen asleep.

"Brock, you awake," I whispered.

"Mmhmm, yeah."

"Can you do something for me, can you take care of Hayden?"

"He seems to take care of me more"

"Just promise you'll take care of him"

"I promise," Brock whispered, and then I could finally close my eyes and go to sleep with no worries. I knew Brock would keep his promise, he was good like that, he was a good guy.

I opened my eyes and I saw Brock deep in sleep snoring. I got up quietly and gathered my school stuff and dressed in the bathroom quickly. I was running late, I could just feel it as I stumbled into the kitchen. I saw Mum, she had her car keys in her hand obviously about to leave.

"Mum, were you gonna leave without me?"

Mum jumped in surprise at the sound of my voice.

"I thought you were going too spend the day with the boy's and yesterday you seemed…"

"It's ok, Mum. I needed a day, it's fine"

"Oh, ok. Well, then come on."

It was a quiet ride to school, Mum just chattered about the boy's and how glad she was that Brock was so nice and he came and visited and what not. Mum was happy and I was happy she was happy, it was nice to see her so bouncy and awake. She was excited, I hadn't seen her like that in a while, it was sweet, endearing really.

She pulled up at the school and smiled at me, "Have fun and tell that Chris boy he's welcome over."

"Mum."

"I was just saying."

"Love you," I said as I closed the door.

"Love you too," Mum replied as she pulled away, leaving me at school. No one noticed me as per usual and I made my way towards my locker.

"Hey."

I jumped a little and saw Chris walking next to me in a relaxed way, like we did this all the time.

"So, I hear you rock at English."

I didn't reply because there was no right answer to that. Either way you sounded like a gloater or just annoying. I was okay at English, I won awards and people thought I rocked at it, which really wasn't true it was just a stupid poem. The only reason people know me in my English class is because my teacher went on and on about how great it was I had won an award and how they should enter competitions. I'm guessing he heard it from one of them.

"Well, I sort or need some help. I suck and I need a tutor, I thought maybe you could help."

I stared at him. I wanted to flatly say no but it seemed cold. I just wanted him to leave me alone, I didn't want a friend, I didn't want a fixer, I didn't want someone trying to weasel their way into my life. I didn't want any of that, why couldn't he see that.

"Just one session, really, to help me get ready for this test. I'm sort of freaking out about it and my teacher recommended you."

"I don't really, I'm not a good teacher."

"Please, just this one time, please."

"Um, I just, I'm not really good at that sort of—"

"Please, one time, please?"

"Umm, I just—"

"Just tonight, that's it, I swear."

There was nothing I could do to get out of it and his locker was beside mine, telling him no might make things awkward. If I say yes and act remotely cheerful maybe he won't see me as broken and leave me alone, not likely but it was the best option I had.

"Fine."

"Great, when are you free tonight."

"I don't really care."

"Is 8 okay? I can drive you and pick you up if you want, I have football practice so…I can't do it till then"

"It's fine, but I'll get my own way there and back."

"If you're sure," Chris said sighing and then giving me his details before wondering off to a group of people I knew vaguely, but then again I didn't really know anyone, not really, I just sort of knew of there existence and presence, the bare minimum.

The bell rang loud and clear, it was going to be another boring day.

As soon as I walked out of the school I spotted Brock and Hayden, both by Brock's beat up old car, scanning the crowd for me. I made my way towards them, finally they both spotted me and waved frantically. I offered a small wave back, not wanting to draw attention to myself.

"Lucky bitch."

"What," I said, realizing the girl next to me was talking to me.

I new of her, her name was Jade, she was in my year; loud mouthed and friendly, other then that I knew nothing else about her. She originally wasn't from around here, which made her a bit interesting for everyone, a novelty.

"Two hot guys waving you down like that, argh jealous."

"Oh, um, they're—"

"Sweetie, just accept it, you're a lucky bitch. So, are you new?"

"Um, no."

"Shit, sorry, I'm self observed ignore me, I probably just missed you. I'm jade and you're…?"

"Angel."

"High standards to live up to."

"Jay, get your ass over here, I'm running late!" A boy screamed from a blue car.

"Chill it ey! I'm talkin here!" she screamed back, seeming unfazed by the scene she was creating. She was one of those people that was confident just by nature, which earned her respect straight away, as well no one would mess with her that much was clear.

"Charming isn't he, that's my brother, well I gotta go but I'll catch you later girl," Jade said and then raced off towards her brother, scowling at him. I waved half heartily that was nothing more then a one off right, there would be no catch you later, I knew that much and made my way towards the car.

"How was your day"? Hayden asked as I climbed in.

"Same old stuff."

"I hated high school, always got detention for eating in class." Brock pouted.

"Couldn't wait till lunch," Hayden said as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"Nah, Coach kept wanting me too bulk up, so I kept bulking up, but it pissed off the other teachers."

"Oh."

"Ya, god now I'm hungry, can we get something to eat."

"We just ate," Hayden said.

"So, I'm hungry again."

"You're like a pregnant women," Hayden complained.

"Whatever."

The boys bickered but it wasn't the mean kind, just the way we hang out to much kind, it was nice, it was sweet, and the afternoon was wasted that way, just the two of them bickering and arguing, it was nice to waste time instead of counting it down.

"You leaving now"? Hayden asked as I got up from the lounge.

"Yeah, gotta tutor."

"Have fun," everyone chorused and I nodded my head.

"Yes, have fun with Chris," Mum said grinning.

"Mum, it's English nothing more."

"Yes, I know, I know," Mum said.

I didn't bother to remind her again because I didn't think she wanted to know, instead I made my way out to the car. Chris lived right in the heart of Forks and as I drove into his block I could see a huge party with rows of cars parked everywhere on lawns and loud music bombing. I stared. No, this could not be his house, I thought as I saw the address firmly written on the letter box, but sure enough it was. There was no way I was going inside, no way in the world. I didn't even want to stop until I saw Chris running towards the car, I stopped just so I could say I turned up.

"I'm so sorry, I swear my brother didn't even tell me he's throwing a party."

"It doesn't matter," I muttered even though it did.

All things matter, they all link up and mean something. It's a chain, the chain of life ,I guess it all mattered and yet I knew I couldn't act like it did because you have to act like everything really isn't a big deal when all I wanted to do was say it did matter, that I didn't want to be here and I was and I wished I wasn't, but instead I kept my face blank.

"Look, I know it seems crazy in there it really isn't. We'll go to the study and work on it, please. I really am sorry, please, I need too study. I'm really sorry."

I sighed. "Let me park my car," I said. Chris nodded his head, smiling broadly as soon as I parked my car. I saw Chris waiting for me at the curb of his house.

"Hey, ask me who I am."

"What?"

"Just ask."

"Who are you?"

"Whoever you want me to be," he repeated. "I've always wanted to say that," he explained, sensing my confusion he changed the subject but I could see the disappointed look on his face. "The OC," he muttered under his breath. "You better grab my hand and follow me through the crowd."

"Um."

"It'll just make things easier to get to the study, please."

"Alright," I said, even though I wished more then anything I could say no and wish away this night, but I grabbed his hand and we headed for the house.

The place was packed with people dancing and drinking but Chris held my hand tightly. His hand was clammy, it felt awkward, wrong, like I couldn't find a piece to a puzzle and it was driving me insane.

People pretty much moved as Chris pushed past them. I looked around at everyone, know one knew who I was, they all looked to be in college and then I felt it. I felt him looking like a sixth sense. I turned my head and then sure enough there he was, leaning on the wall he was with some blonde guy who was talking to him but he wasn't listening, he was looking directly at me and then his eyes flashed to my hand gripped into Chris's and his face folded from the deep stare that sucked me in, to blind anger, the kind that held so much feeling.

I was forced too look away, and then I was pushed further along through the crowd and it was like he wasn't there at all, it was like he hadn't even been here, but somehow I knew he had because my breath was uneven. Finally we managed to come to the end of mass of people and Chris directed me towards a room, without saying a word he lead me into an office, a clean, modern one and closed the door, and I was finally aloud too hear again.

"Sorry 'bout that, it was pretty, um, crazy let's get to work. Hang on, let me just get a drink 'cause I am seriously thirsty after all that you, want one."

"Um, no thanks."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll be just a sec, I promise."

He left swiftly and closed the door behind him, leaving me alone in the study. There was nothing much there, just the normal stuff found in an office. There was one picture of him and obviously his brother since they looked a like. I smiled. They were making snowman, it was sweet.

I heard the door open and I dropped the picture, feeling like I was being sneaky. I turned and then I felt it again, and sure enough there he stood, Jack. The anger was gone from his face but I could see traces from it, traces he was trying to keep hidden.

"Hey," I mumbled.

"I need to know something, it's not my place but I need to know okay?" His voice was intense, and he moved closer towards me. I could feel his body heat, he was so close and he was staring directly at me.

"Is he your boyfriend?" he asked. I could hear the urgency in his words and his hot breath on my face because he was close, my whole body was tingling with him being so close.

"No, I'm helping him with English, he didn't know about the party," I responded even I could hear my voice breaking. I felt like such an idiot, every time he seemed to take my breath away from me, he stripped me off all my defenses, it was the best and worst feeling in the world.

Jack stared at me as if he was searching to make sure I was telling the truth, he finally seemed satisfied and he smiled at me and leaned it so close that he was right next to my ear. I felt his skin touch mine and my body tingled even more, my heart start beating faster and faster and I could barely contain myself.

"I believe you," he whispered, and then he pulled away so suddenly it was scary. He began backing away and his breathing was ragged. Just as he got to the door he looked back at me again.

"I think I would have died if he was," he said, his voice so rough and intoxicating, and then he was gone. I let out a huge breath. It was a moment later that Chris returned with a huge glass of water in his hand and a smile on his face.

"What I miss?"

"Everything."

"What?"

"I mean nothing, nothing," I repeated. Chris gave me an odd look but nodded.

"Let's start."

"Good idea," I said.

Jack left me breathless, it was unbearable, amazing, it was indescribable…

Authors Note:

Another chapter, wow these words are flowing. I think this is my least favorite chapter so far, what do you think?

And a huge thank you too my beta

also check out my story Song Girl on Fictionpress, sorry I can't get the link right now but it's on the latest chapter of Out Of Control


	5. Incapable

Authors Note

Hey here it is another chapter. God, I just can't stop. Here it is, don't forget to review. I really appreciate it. If your interested check out this story I wrote on another site and review if you do.

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Read before you judge please

Love Hurts

Chapter Five

"To be truly broken you must be incapable to love."

-Anonymous

I could hear the faint sound of someone moving me, trying to wake me, but my head was too busy day dreaming. I was half awake and half asleep. It was oddly enough a nice feeling; it felt like I spent my life always being half of something. Maybe it was because my life was such a rollercoaster of pain that I only liked doing things half way so if they didn't work out it would only hurt half as much.

So being in a half way land it almost made more sense, everything was fuzzy. I liked fuzzy. It's less hurtful if the pain isn't as clear. Clearness is something that we all want, purity, pure clean water you can see through, but the murky water hides the things we don't want to see. You're either a pure or a murky person, someone who lets everyone see them or someone who lets no one. I guess there's a grey area at some point, but I'm so murky you may as well call it pitch blackness. You can't see anything. I'm so tightly shut off from the world I don't think I even know how not to be. Somewhere along the line it wasn't a conscious decision to be so closed off, it just became me, now that's a scary thought.

"Angel, wake up."

I opened my eyes fully now and I was out of halfway land and forced into murky water. Hayden looked down at me and smiled at me. His face was always soft, you know he was clear as the blue sky, so it seemed, but I knew there was more depth to him than people thought. He was the grey area in between the murky, and the clear people thought they saw him but he very carefully selected what they saw. Maybe that was the trick, working out how much to show, how much to let people see instead of not letting people see anything at all.

"What?" I asked.

Hayden looked at me slightly annoyed, probably by my none existent morning skills. Hayden woke up and saw the world in bright colors. I woke up and wondered if I had to get up. It was subtle things that showed the huge differences in me and my brother, subtle things change the world though they don't. The big things just make people see the subtle things really.

"We're going to the beach."

For a second I pictured bright blue skies and the warm sun beating down on my skin while I lay and enjoyed it. I got a flash of our vacations of when I was younger, the sound of Hayden and I playing and of Kyle—I stopped myself, pulling myself out of the memories that wanted to consume me. Who knew good times could remind me of the bad times, who knew? I knew, God did I know.

"What beach?" I asked, pushing the covers off myself as I made a move to get up and see the world.

"La Push beach," Hayden said, rolling his eyes and repositioning himself so I could get out of bed without running into him.

I stared at him, trying to process the words "La Push". Jack. Jack had somehow become all I thought when the word La and Push were put in the same sentence. I tried not to show the agony of how much I didn't want to see him and yet how my body was aching for me to. But what were the odds of me running into him, but the odds for me and him always seemed to push us together.

I couldn't escape him. He was just so intoxicating. His scent was like inhaling something you knew you shouldn't but it smelt so sweet and it was so addicting. I think I just compared him to drugs. That was what he was, though, a dangerous drug that gave me the most incredible high, and I found myself with every sniff becoming more and more dependent on him.

I pulled myself out of bed and Hayden looked bored with how slow I was, but now something else was slowing me down; my thoughts and I couldn't stop them. I tried to think of something to grasp onto me, to bring me back to reality.

"But, it's so cold."

"It's always cold here and Brock wanted to go before we headed home. Come on, it's Saturday, it's time to see the world, oh sister of mine," Hayden said, clapping his hands at the end of his sentence like an overjoyed child.

"Gay moment much?" Brock voice boomed. We turned to look at him standing in the doorway with an apple in his hand and an amused look on his happy face.

"What are you talking about?" Hayden asked, instantly offended.

"What straight guy do you know that claps his hands for joy?" Brock teased, his eyes gleaming with amusement. Hayden death stared him and then looked over at me.

"Just get dressed, we're going soon," Hayden mumbled, and made sure to make loud manly steps and then he slammed the door. I heard the sound of Brock laughing. I rolled my eyes.

I put on jeans and a jumper and headed out. Both the boys were standing in the kitchen bickering and looking like they were waiting for me impatiently. I stared at them. I felt a bang in my chest at the thought of them leaving. Whenever Hayden came back it was like a part of me was found, something I had been desperately looking for and then when he left it felt like it had been ripped from me again, that piece thrown into the ocean and I had to go through the process of finding it all over again. The thought of it made me shiver.

Hayden eyes found mine and he locked them, trying to read my thoughts. I downcast my eyes, it was easier then letting him worry about nothing. I didn't want him to feel guilty for living, I just wanted to be able to live as well but it felt like the weight of the world pulled me back.

"Let's go." I tried to keep my voice chipper. Brock looked over at me and gave me an odd look before heading to the car.

It took 15mins to get to La Push, and the whole car trip I could feel Hayden worrying about me, the feeling seemed to kill any happiness that was surfacing in the car and to top it all off all the songs on the radio seemed to be sad ones. By the time we arrived at the beach all of us were mopey and it was my entire fault, at least it felt like it. Still the beach looked beautiful, grey and cold, but beautiful. I wondered if that's how you'd describe me, without the beautiful part.

The beach was deserted, just how I expected to be, yet it still remained breath taking. We all walked towards the water. We got close enough without risking getting wet, knowing the water would be freezing. I had flashes of the end scene of Titanic just by looking at the water, it was anything but inviting. Brock looked out at the sea, lost in thought and I noticed Hayden the same. I wondered what they thought about in these kinds of moments. I think that's what makes a person, what they think about in the quiet moments.

"It's beautiful," Brock breathed out, his voice even and amazed.

"Who's having the gay moment now," Hayden said, obviously trying to find any reason to say the same thing to him. Brock didn't say anything, just stared at the ocean and I wondered what it would be like to be the ocean, to never really belong to one place. I guess it would feel like me.

"I feel like we should tell a secrete or something," Hayden said, his voice quiet as we all stared out in the sea.

No one said anything, mainly because it did feel like one of those moments when you were meant to open your heart and say something you were holding on to so tightly and just release it, throw a bottle in the ocean, I guess, and hope it reaches the person. It was one of those moments.

"Brock's my nickname," Brock said after a moment. "My real name is Broccoli, like the vegetable. My Mum kept craving them when she had me and so I got that name. Lucky I'm a quarterback, otherwise I would have gotten my ass kicked in high school," Brock said.

Both Hayden and I looked at each other and burst out laughing, we couldn't help it the shear craziness of it was too much to take. We could hear Brock trying not to laugh but after a moment he gave in and joined us.

"It's not funny, you know," Brock mumbled as the laughter dyed down and none of us said anything else for a moment, we went back too just thinking.

"I'm in love with someone I can't have," Hayden said quietly for a second.

I waited for him to say something else, but nothing else came. I waited for the punch line or even just more information to come but I knew he wasn't ready to say it yet and after a second more of silence I let something out I didn't think I ever would.

"I miss Kyle," I said.

We didn't say anything after that. Hayden didn't say anything or try and ask questions. We had just told a secrete and it was a moment that without words you knew was never going to be mentioned again, it was going to stay here at this beach, at this place for as long as we each wanted, be maybe even forever.

I tugged on the "k" necklace, debating whether I should just chuck it in the ocean but I knew I couldn't do it, it belonged to me just like he belonged to me and I couldn't change that, you can't change things like that.

"Hey, I know we're having a moment but I'm starving," Brock broke in, his voice completely serious. I looked away from the ocean and at him and smiled. Hayden rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, let's get some fish and chips and bring it back to the beach aye?"

"Sounds good, so good" Brock said rubbing his stomach. Both boys started heading back.

"Come on," Brock called.

"Can I just wait here till you get back?"

Hayden looked unsure, but finally he nodded. "Just be careful, 'kay?" he mumbled. "Don't go far and all that."

"I won't," I promised and sat down on the sand.

I turned my head and watched them go until I couldn't see them anymore. It was nice to be alone, but sometimes I wished I wasn't always alone. I wished I had someone, anyone besides family, and then other times I was sure I wanted no one. Maybe I was waiting for the right person and maybe the right person would never come, my life was filled with maybes.

The sound of the waves kept me company as I waited…and then I felt him. I knew it was him, I could just sense him, his presence and I turned. I saw him walking to the beach. I knew he hadn't seen me, at least not yet, he was standing on the beach looking slightly pissed off. Like he was trying to cool off from something, finally he looked towards me and our eyes met and the world once again changed. I was getting sucked in all over again.

He began making his way towards me, not breaking eye contact and I had to remind myself to breath. He finally sat down next to me. I could feel the heat radiating off him and I felt so close, we were almost touching and he had positioned his body so he was looking at me, not at the ocean but at me, and he wasn't even subtle about it. It was like he was just laying it all out on the table, he was going to just look at me, and I took the moment to stare at his face.

It was perfection and it made me feel instantly ugly. I wondered how he got this handsome, and then I saw it, a cut. It was above his right eye and it was deep, the blood around it was dry and it looked like it hurt, but also like it hadn't been self inflicted. He had been a fight and that idea bothered me, mainly because I just didn't like it. The idea he had been hurt, some part of me hated it more than anything in the world. I'd never felt such strong hatred for someone I didn't know and just because they had inflicted pain, the emotion scared me and I wanted to run from it, but I couldn't. I was addicted to him.

I reached out before I realized what I was doing and touched it. He shivered slightly and I pulled my hand away.

"Sorry, I didn't realize it was so sore," I mumbled awkwardly.

Jack didn't say anything; he just sort of smiled at me sadly showing he wasn't mad.

"What happened?" I whispered, and I wasn't even sure why I was.

"I got in a fight," he said gruffly, shifting awkwardly.

"Why?" I asked, ignoring how rude I was being. It just felt like I had to know something about him. I was interested and I hated it, the thirst I had just to know him was freaky.

"Sophia," he grumbled.

"Oh."

Sophia. He loved someone or cared for someone enough to fight for them and a pang of hurt hit me. I was jealous, I could feel it. I wondered what was so special about her. I wondered why he kept staring; if he had someone to love I wondered what she looked like. I wondered why I cared so much and I wondered why it hurt so much.

Jack must have sensed it or something, or maybe he just noticed my face change, which was odd because no one ever seemed to pay attention to me or what I was feeling, no one seemed to notice when my mood changed, yet it was like he read me like a book in some ways and in others had no idea what he was doing.

"I'd fight anyone for you," he told me so fiercely, like he was making sure I knew it, knew that he would and I believed him without doubt. It was a foreign emotion just to believe, but I did without question. I couldn't find it in myself to doubt it.

"Sophia is Wolfie's girl, I was back up" he explained and felt myself relax, He had done something to me, he had made me care and I didn't mind, not really, it just felt nice to care when I had stopped for someone, it was like breathing after holding your breath. It's so necessary and relieving.

"It was a beer bottle," he said.

"I'm sorry it hurts," I said quietly.

"Not a big deal."

I didn't say anything for a second, maybe just digesting his words. I guess it was true, maybe to him this was normal. I didn't know what his normal was, I didn't really even know who he was, he was just a stranger, really, to me. A stranger I was attached to, weirdly that I felt this connection with I couldn't describe, but still a stranger.

"Maybe not to you, but it's a big deal to me," I said.

I looked at his face and I saw shock imprinted there, like he couldn't believe my words and yet I couldn't either. Thinking it was one thing, saying it was another. I felt like I had made a small part of me clear to him and now I wished it was murky at the same time, it felt so right it being clear.

"You're making this so hard," Jack breathed, his face was edging closer to mine and I wasn't sure what to do

"What am I making hard?"

"Not to kiss you, it's like a need. I just need too," he breathed into my ear, his face so close to mine. He did this a lot, I noticed. "But I won't," he whispered quietly and then pulled away, and got up from the sand and began to walk away as fast as possible.

"Where are you going?" I asked. I wasn't sure when I decided I was going to start asking him questions, but here I was asking so many, like it was second nature to care this much, more like first nature.

"I'm avoiding temptation."

"But I thought you were the devil, don't you create it," I asked.

I heard him chuckle. "Most of the time, but not even I could think up a temptation like you, remember that," he said, and then he began to run.

He sprinted away with a small piece of my heart with him. People always say, "He has a piece of my heart" or, "You'll always be in my heart". I never understand it, maybe cause I've never given a person outside of my family a piece of anything, but why is that people easily give away their heart and yet won't give a dime to a homeless man? Why is that we risk the most important things, but cling to the little things? Is it because the little things are the only things we can control sometimes? Life is just too hard to understand.

I could feel it when Jack had left completely; I just felt it and I hated that 'cause I knew I had given him a small piece of me. I was emotionally attached to a boy I didn't know and he didn't know me, yet there was something so deep between him and me and I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe I was so distant from human contact, he gives me one longing gaze and I see more then I should in it. I hear the sound of feet and I look up. Sure enough there's Hayden and Brock walking towards me, Brock with chips in his hands, he looks over at me and smiles.

"Miss us?" Hayden asks as he sits down next to me.

"Umm, of course" I say pretending that I didn't. Brock laughs as he unwraps the chips slowly.

"Do you miss home?" I ask Brock as he stuffs four chips in his mouth at once and smiles hugely. Brock looks over at us and shrugs his shoulders.

"Sometimes, I guess. I mean, I grew up in a small town kinda like this one, and, um, my parents were like these random hippies. Ya know, we were like the talk of the town and my parents never cared and neither did, I guess, but then I come to college and strange parents is completely normal, ya know? I miss not fitting in, I guess, to a degree and then in college I love fitting in, it's weird," Brock tries to explain.

It's funny how people make them self seem. Brock comes across as an all American boy yet he is something completely different and I come across as nobody, maybe because I am nobody. I'm like one of those people, you know, like move along here nothing too see. I'm the person that says that and no one even glimpses at you, they're too busy trying to see what is behind you, I'm that person.

Brock looks over at me and smiles "You know, I think the best thing that ever happened to me was when I first set foot on a football field, it was like everything just clicked and then I met Lisa and it was like that feeling all over again. If you ever get that feeling with anyone you just gotta go for it and forget the rest," Brock said his voice was completely and utterly serious, there was no hint of laughter in his voice just the truth. Now that's scary, seeing someone being completely themselves; the scariest thing in the world.

Hayden and I both stare at Brock's announcement in amazement. "You fuckers didn't think I could be deep did you?"

"No, not really," Hayden says and we all burst out laughing.

"Bye," I say as Brock grips me in one last hug.

Hayden smiled sadly at me from the driver's seat. Mum was still at work but today she'd gotten a lift from Sheryl who walked in the building next door ,they seemed to be friends, good friends, Mum needed Sheryl to talk to and Sheryl seemed to feel the same way after a sudden divorce and left raising a teenager daughter, she could relate to Mum once a week. Sheryl and Mum would have dinner out together and today was that day this week. Mum would have loved to stay and say good bye to the boys, but worked called and so afterwards Sheryl would have dinner and Mum would brag about Hayden.

It was nice friendship they had. I appreciated it mainly because I felt like the weight had been lifted to be Mum's best friend. I was glad she had someone to talk to and discus things with. I was glad she had someone, everyone deserves someone, isn't that the theory. It doesn't have to be a boyfriend or husband, just a friend, everyone deserves one of those.

"Bye," I reply as soon as he lets me go and hops in the car, slamming the door. Brock smiles at me again. "I'll see you soon."

"I'm sure I will," I say waving. "Have fun with Lisa," I say with a grin, and Brock looks away awkwardly and I almost giggle at him.

Hayden looks over at me. "We better head off. I'll call you when we get there."

"Okay, good. I love you Hayden."

"I love you too," Hayden says, and hugs me awkwardly through the window.

I finally release him and step away from the car, smile as best as I can and watch them drive off. It's funny how my only source of happiness manages to always leave, but even as they leave this time it feels different, like I'm changing, like things are changing and for good this time. I walk into the house. It's empty and it feels awkward and I tug at the K hanging around my neck and I start crying, the tears fall down my face and I remember how I much I miss him and how scared I was and how I pushed him away cause I didn't know else what to do. I think about how he's only two hours away and I think about how I could go see him and I then I walk towards the car knowing I have to see him because I miss him.

The traffic isn't bad and by the time I get there my hands are already shaking. I'm about to do something that is going to change everything and the funny part is I don't care. I just want to see him, I need to see him because he's Kyle and I'm Angel and I just need it.

The place is small as far as these places can be and the gates surrounding it scare me. I wonder what it's like to feel trapped in that way, but then again I'm trapped in a completely different way. The man in the uniform glares at me as if I shouldn't be visiting here, shouldn't be here.

"Who you here to see," he grunts.

"Kyle Preston," I say.

He looks around the car as if inspecting it and then at me. "Alright keeping going, personally I don't think a pretty thing like you should be going in there," he warns, shaking his head in disgust.

I park my car and walk towards the entrance. It feels weird just walking into this place, it's been so long since I came here and I feel like a stranger and I'm not. When it felt normal but I think at some point this place just became a regular place. I came to like the Mini Mart, you know, not a big deal how sick is that.

I barely remember how things work here and I stumble through awkward introductions and guards giving me odd looks and telling me in 10 minutes there are visiting hours. I wait in a plastic chair and I shift awkwardly. Maybe I should just leave, but as soon as I reach up at to touch the K hanging around my neck, I know, I can't not go now.

"You can go in," the guard says, he gives me a look. The kind that says he pities me for having to come here.

As soon as I enter I almost wish I hadn't. All eyes in the room turn to me and I can tell it's not a regular occurrence to have a girl my age in the room. All the people visiting are either other guys or old, and sure enough they all look at me as if I'm insane. I search the crowd trying to ignore the stares for Kyle and then I spot him. He's not looking at me unlike the rest, he hasn't seen me yet. He has the look on his face like his trying to work out why he's here in the first place and is staring out into space at nothing.

"Kyle," I say quietly as I approach.

Kyle looks up. He looks the same in away, maybe more broken now, but still my brother, the same hair and dark brown eyes, still my twin brother no matter what. He stares at me and I can see the shock written on his face. I feel sick for knowing I caused it, the alarm of me visiting him it, shouldn't be that way.

"Thought ya didn't have a girl, Presser," a boy in a nearby table calls. A couple of boys snigger, but most have gone back to talking to whoever they were meant to be speaking to.

Kyle looks over at him, sends him the kind of look that could kill. "Fuck off," he says, the words so threatening. The guy mumbles something and looks away. Kyle looks over at me again, still surprised.

"Angel," he says.

He stands up and wraps his arms around me tightly and I hug back, just missing the other half of me that I tried to cut off so long ago. Having a twin is one of those amazing yet weird things, ever since we were little we were always close, it was impossible not to be. We had different friends and interests, but we had a connection. If something was wrong with him I knew, I just knew, the day he broke his arm I felt like something was wrong. I just knew the day that I broke my arm he felt it, he just knew.

There's this bond that's hard to explain and even standing next to him remembers me of it and how much I miss it, just having him around. People always found it hard to believe we were twins. He would walk around school like a complete musician where as I was just a normal girl, girls gushed and crushed on him and I was always the quiet achiever. People would always ask is there's anything you have in common and our reply would be each other. He was everything I wasn't and I was everything he wasn't, we balanced each other, we created a whole.

"How are you?" he asked as he sits back down again. His voice is quiet and I can tell it's so no one can hear him. He leans closer towards me, to get a good look at me, I guess.

"I'm good, how are you?" I ask, as soon as the words come out of my mouth I feel sick.

I feel like I'm at some formal gathering asking polite questions. This was never how we were, we fought, we yelled, we screamed, we laughed, we cried, we did everything together, the three of us mostly. Hayden was never really left out, him and Kyle would always go to music things together. Hayden would sit down and play back up guitar and sneak him into night clubs to play. They were best friends. We were all best friends and I missed it, an aching in my chest, missed it more than anything.

"I'm, it's good to see you again, I missed you," Kyle said.

"I missed you so much, I'm so sorry I missed you Kyle, I miss my brother, I miss my brother, I—" I cried as I throw my arms around him and held on for as long as I could. Kyle put his arms over me to and just sat there with me as I cried and sobbed gasping out I'm sorry every now and then.

"I was just scared, I thought seeing you was making me sadder," I sobbed.

"It's ok, Angel it was hard."

"I bailed, I shouldn't have," I sobbed, and clung to his shirt.

He held me tighter, not letting me go. It was one of those moments when everything felt okay, you know? When you just know that right at this moment it couldn't get better, this is where you're meant to be, this is what you're meant to be doing, it was all just perfect it was one of those moments.

I'd been having a lot more of those lately.

Authors Note

So what do you think tell me ideas suggestions whatever and check out my other story and tell me what you think even if your not a Jonas Brother fan. Plz

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	6. Torn

Author Note

I'm not really as proud as this chapter as the others but here it is I hope you enjoy it review and tell all your friends too read it lol, I'm not that desperate for reviews. incase you guys ever want too Vaccution somewhere I suggest Melbourne it's an awesome city.

Oh and also I have some gross biscuit and the taste is still in my mouth YUCK!

Also My Beta sort of well I don't really know what happened I'm sure something came up anyway I was waiting till I heard back from my beta but that didn't happen, so here we are, so I know this is not betaed but it's readable and I did my best job at editing I could so read and review and ignore spelling and grammar I realise it's no good and I'm sorry. Anyway here it is and I promise the wait be so long anymore.

Does anyone want too be my Beta let me know? I need one until I can get hold of my normal one and after I write a lot.

So review and sorry for the wait.

Love Hurts

Chapter Six

To Break A Heart Is To Have Someones and Give It Back To Them With No Remorse

Annoymous

Kyle starred at me his face was mirroring mine, it was funny how alike we looked sometimes, People use to always say we looked barely anything alike but occasionally we would flash the same smile and people would gush over how alike we looked. Right now we were having that very look on our faces it was time too go the visiters were forwarding out and I new my place was too leave with them, walk away quietly but we'd barely had the chance too talk and I was dying too hear more I was dying too know more about his life, his eyes were as sad as mine.

"Miss, it's time too go" An angry looking guard told me his voice was crackly and i hated how he stared at Kyle like he was wrong for even talking too me. I hated him for looking down on my brother like society did instantly when you mentioned the words juvie, I starred at him and wondered what it was like for people too have an instant reaction too you. As soon as you mentioned it but then again he wouldn't know he hadn't met people after this. I felt a pang in my chest at the thought that his life would never really be normal again. I wanted too cry at the thought instead I got up slowly from my sit and smiled my best smile.

"I'll come back tomorrow" I promised giving him a hug

"You don't have too" kyle told me

"I will thought" I said strongly and then the guard glared at me again. so I left the room I left him and I wondered if he believed me when I said I would back. I hated that I gave him a reason not too trust me I hated myself and I wondered. Why he was the one that had such a bad life when I was the one that deserved it I wasn't doing anything in this world and yet he was going too be doing some amazing things he had so much potential.

Flashback

"Where are you going" I asked it was dark almost midnight and I could see the faint outline of Kyle face as he was trying too climb out our bedroom window. Even without seeing him I new he was slightly annoyed I was questioning him. My eyes flashed too the time one oclock in the morning, and yet I was wide awake all thanks too Kyle

"No where" He said even more annoyed now

"It's a school night" I whispered furiosuly "I'm not letting you sneak out too some stupid party"

"I'm not going too a party"

"or hook up with some girl"

"I'm not going too see a girl"

"well then what are you doing" I hissed feeling more and more annoyed it was late I was tired and he was being diffcuilt he was always being diffcult.

"I'm just going out" Kyle said vagually and I stared at him wondering if he really thought I was just going too let that go as answer.

"No your not"

"Yes I am" He told me deaths starring me his best death, the problem was it wasn't that scary it was a mimick of mine and it just felt like I was looking into the mirror when I stared at his eyes so I ignored the stare.

"your 16 your not going out at one in the morning"

"Yes I am"

"Well then I'm coming too" I said pushing the covers off me

"No your not"

"Well if your going I'm coming too"

"Angle no go back too sleep"

"No. now i want too come"

"Well you can't" He hissed

"Yes I can" I grumbled

"No your not" He told me firmly and then climbed out the window fully and I followed him without even thinking, I had never been so glad we had a one story house he hadn't realised i was following him so I just kept following him I could see that he had his guitar strapped too his back and he was humming an chune.

"I no your following me" He annoced after i had been following him for a block

"What" I whispered

"Stop whispering mum can't hear you now I just new I get a feeling in my gut when your near"

"I forgot"

"How can you forget you get the same feeling"

"I just did ok" I sniffed feeling stupid

"Whatever and before you ask where i'm going I'm just going too tell you I'm going too a club I'm singing there tonight"

"What"

"Yeah 1 30 slot"

"why didn't you tell me"

"It's not a big deal"

"yes it is" I told him fiercly

"Come on I don't wanna be late" He grabbed my hand too pull me along and we spent the whole way there bickering and laughing,

End Of Flashback

That night when he played it was amazing the crowd was eating out of his hand and I just new, new he was going too be someone I just new for weeks after that we climbed out the window together at one in the morning and each time he would remind me I didn't have too come and yet every night I insisted on coming.

It was little things like that, that made us the way we were closer then anything in the world closer then the world around us. We were just always Kyle and Angel in so many ways I needed him and he needed me.

We were more then best friends we were twins and our connection was something that meant everything too me. Maybe that's why I pulled away because I was sure seeing him again would just remind me things weren't the same. I still remember at the beginnning when he was new too Juvie waking up in cold sweats because I new he had just been beaten and then seeing the evidance the next day. Now that killed me,eventually he got shipped too the one his in now. I stopped waking up in the night but the memories never left me. Seeing him so broken everyday was just making me more broken and I thought by walking away somehow I could fix myself but I think somehow that only made it worse trying too pull away from someone I loved. In away it pulled me away from everything else I had tried too make myself forget that, Kyle was half of me and trying too forget him was like trying to forget myself.

The morning I woke up I felt the need too see Kyle again too keep my promis.e I hadn't told mum about going too see him, I just didn't want too ruin anything by talking about it. People seemed too spend there whole lives talking about something that didn't work out if things went wrong I didn't want my mother knowing about it, it would hurt her and I couldn't stand that I stumbled out of my room and into the kitchen I expected too see my mother in there making breakfast instead I was meet with silence and a note suck too the firdge.

_Hey Honey _

_you were sleeping and one of my clients needs a session and then I'm going too see a movie with Susie call me if you need anything I didn't want too wake you. _

A couple of weeks ago mum wouldn't have dared too go out on a Sunday without me but I kept encouraging it and now I hated myself because I needed that car today he was counting on me and I couldn't let him down like before I couldn't do it, I just I had too do something calling mum would be stupid she was already at work and I couldn't ruin her day. I had already ruined too much for her I know she wanted me too be more brighter and I new i was a constant disappointment at my in abilty too just get over it. Move on like everyone else had managed too. Yet I still was different I was always different in so many ways and this one had too be worse. I just wished I could have moved on like everyone else did without even thinking about it. I wished more then anything that I could wake up morning and not remember how I hard I found it too get up. I walked towards my room and throw on some clothes and then rummaged around for the phone book and till I find a taxi service.

"Hello" a tired voice said into the phone "This is Tally Taxi Service"

"Hi I was wondering if I could get a lift from Forks"

"We don't go there"

"but your a taxi service isn't your job too go too those places"

"sorry sweetie we don't go there" her voice sounded more annoyed now

"Oh okay thanks" I pressed the end button and felt like throwing it at the wall wasn't there job too drive places. I mean I couldn't fathom why they wouldn't come here, I felt like crying I was going too break his heart. no I couldn't I wouldn't I'd just walk too Chris house he'd give me a lift. but then again he'd also feel even more sorry and I ran the risk of everyone finding out. I wasn't ashamed but they would assume something else and then suddnely I would become a freak someone everyone stopped too stare at, something I couldn't take. My thoughts were completely interuppted when I heard the doorbell for a second I pictured Kyle outside smiling at me but then I remembred how he couldn't go anywhere he was constantly stuck in the same place not moving. and I wondered what that was like too be constantly limited too one way of life too be forever stuck in the same room. I walked towards the door and opened it forgetting the stranger danger lessons my mother had drilled in my head. I think I almost jumped back when I saw him standing right in front of me Jack was standing there hands shoved in his pockets starring at me in away that made the whole world start spinning fast and my heart start beating faster. he was here and I coudln't understand how he new where I lived and what he was doing here. I thought there so clearly a line we had drawn for when I saw him only when I was in La Push and yet here he was looking casual almost besides the amazing stare he was shooting towards me.

"Hey" He said when I finally dragged my eyes too look at the ground instead of his perfect face. why was it that he felt the need too stop by why was he so fixated on me and why was I so drawn too him. We were both so connected and it made me feel sick too my stomach being connected meant also caring about someone and I wasn't sure if I was ready, ready for whatever Jack and I were. Because I new it wasn't going to just be simple it was going too be heartbreaking and heartstopping it wasn't going too be something I could take and leave. It was going too be powerful it was going too change my whole world and I wanted too take a step back because of the impact. Nothing about Jack and I was going too be simple. And yet I couldn't close the door on whatever we were I new i had too let it happen I new I couldn' t resist him I couldn't accept it nor could I decline it I was stuck in limbo I was torn.

"Hi"

"I thought maybe we could hang out" HIs voce was as husky as ever and his words always seemed too mean more then what they were on the surface

"I can't I have I, do you have a car" I spulltered out the idea already forming in my head, Jack looked at me suprise clearly written on his face. Jack obviously not expecting what I said but then again neither was I really it just came out like word vomit.

"Yeah I do it's a....."

"could you give me a lift somewhere"

"anywhere" He told me and i believed him once again

"I need a lift too the Juvie two hours away" I said straight out. I know why I told him without working around it. I felt the need too be honest with him too hide nothing and i wasn't sure why it was like I needed him to know me I didn't want too hide I didn't want too protect myself I wanted too freefall.

"I said anywhere" He repeated I could see the questions in his eyes but I also saw that he would keep his word and for some reason he had this need too please me.

"Thank you" I said

Jack didn't reply too that, instead he walked towards his car and I followed, he opened the door for me and i momentiary froze no one had ever done that for me and the simple gesture was the kind you only saw in old movies i stopped and starred at him in a amazement

"You''lll get use too it" He said his voice like gravel and his eyes sincere I was lost in them

"Get use too what"

"Being treated how you deserve"

I was speachless then, and I climbed in the car and watched it slam as soon as I was safely in and in a matter of moments he was around the otherside and hoping in, he started the car and he looked over at me as he backed out of my driveway I was surprised he could still drive and then he turned his eyes on the road again as we hit the road.

"How did you find me"

"My dad" Jack said simply and I could tell with resentment in his voice he wasn't too happy about it either. i was craving too know why instead of the important question like why the hell does your Dad know where I live I just wanted too learn about him I understand him.

"Do you get on" I asked

"No" Jack said sharply and then turned too me his face sofening instantly "sorry" He apolgised like he was ashamed he let his tone not be anything but appealing or happy.

"So how would you Dad know where I lived" I asked ignoring his apolgy since it wasn't needed

"His an important figure around the community he has too know stuff like that"

"Oh"

"Yeah i dont know much about his job just that he knows this stuff" Jack informed me "What about your Dad what's he like"

"His not around" I said turning my head too face the window. I didn't want too see him wondering about me because i didn't want too asnwer them. I new I would if he gave me the right look he had so much control over me and it scard me he scared me what was going on scared me the world scared me though too and I was still living.

"My Dad thinks he knows everything he doesn't" Jack said almost as an reply

"My Mum worries too much"

"So does mine" Jack says and I can see the smile on his face "you know Angel for a girl who doesn't seem very happy you make me happier then I've ever been"

"But how, I'm not I'm not the kind of girl that makes a guy happy you know not a guy like you"

The car came too a screeching hult and he swirved too the side where it was just bush and parked the car. It happened so fast I didn't even get the chance too scream, yet I was terrfired, as soon as we stopped he moved closer too me so close he his mouth was right near mine his face inches from mine he looked angry livid even and I felt my heart beat even faster

"Lets get one thing straight Angel if anyones too good for anyone it's you" He breathed into me and I couldn't do anything but take in his words "and you are not the kind of the girl you are the one girl that make me feel fucking alive ok"

I nodded that was all I could do, he looked down at my terrfired face and I could see remorse over his "I just want you too know that" He finished his voice soft now he leant down and kissed me on the check quickly before moving back too his sit and turning on the engine again and acting like nothing had just happened. I didn't talk after that too shellshocked by his actions and his words. I'd never seen anyone care that much about anyone even in the movies the way he looked at me it was I couldn't even it explain it, it was earth shattering I it he looked i don't even know.

We pulled in too the the Juvie car park and I kept waiting for him too leave for him to ask questions but even as the guards looked us over and even as he parked his car and we walked in we were just on time for visiters hours. he didn't have any questions it was like he was just observing but somehow not judging me. he was exactly how I needed him too I had never had someone that understood me like that before, besides Kyle.

We walked in my heart pounding I thought about asking him too wait outside but I couldn't do it, it was like I needed him too see a part of me see something. I didn't want him too see at the same time as needed him too. I spotted Kyle straight away and he spotted me, he smiled and then saw Jack and glared as if not sure what other emotion too show, as soon as we got close enough I hugged Kyle and he hugged me back

"You came"

"I promised" I said

When we finally broke apart, I sat down and so did Jack I could feel both boys glarring at each other. it was a guy thing I new that much I never understood it but I new it was a guy thing I'd seen it happen before in movies and yet in real life it just felt awkward and weird.

"This is Jack he gave me a lift, Jack this is my brother Kyle"

"Hey" Jack said

"Hey" Kyle said his voice deadly

"Kyle be nice ok"

"I'll be as nice as I have too be" Kyle said tightly his voice still deadly and I almost wanted too roll my eyes at him but I couldn't find it in myself too do it,

"Kyle his just a friend relax"

"What kind of friend" Kyle asked narrowing his eyes

"Don't" I warned mainly because I wasn't sure the of the answer too the question we were just friends were we even that or were we more then that were we I wasn't sure I just new we were something. Kyle didn't seem happy with the answer but nodded his head and turned towards me choosing too ignore Jack.

"You kay" Kyle asked me his voice was more relaxed this visit and helped us. His guard was completely down and I could feel the easiness of our relationship flooding back slowly.

"You'd feel it, if I wasn't"

"Do you still feel it" Kyle asked

"Yes" My eyes flickered too the brurise on his wrist "I felt that"

"Yeah stupid fight"

"Were you ok"

"I beat him up relax"

"Do you still"

"All the time" Kyle said with a nod

"I guess we last the distance then" I said with a smile on my lips

"Mmmmm guess we do"

"What do you guys feel" Jack asked and I could tell he had been trying too containthe question for a while now, Kyle shoot him an annoyed glare.

"Where twins you know we feel each others pain sometimes"

Realistation dawned on Jack face and Kyle scoffed in annoyance it was useless Kyle was still a teenage boy no matter what.

"How is everthing"

"I miss my guitar" Kyle said and the agony in his voice was clear my brother could barely last day and now he had lasted a year it was who he was the musian he couldn't help it, it defined him and now it had been taken away from him.

"When do you get out" I asked the answer use too change a lot because of good behaviour and I stopped asking. Once I stopped visting and now the question was something I was dying too hearin the answer too Kyle looked over at me.

"Maybe six months, my Lawyer wants me out before I can get shipped too Jail, and I have a record for good behaviour but who knows"

Before I could open my mouth the Guard started telling us it was time too leave I was amazed already but I didn't say a word in compleant I got up and gave him a hug instead

"I love you"

"I love you too" Kyle told me and then we both pulled away

"Nice meeting you" Jack tried

"sure" Kyle said rolling his eyes at Jacks try at doing the right thing and I wanted too kick him for it. instead I forwarded out.

"That's my brother" I said we left Jack looked over at me and nodded

"You look nothing like him"

"huh"

"I don't want too punch him"

"That's my brother" I defended

"I know sorry I should watch my mouth" But he didn't sound sorry at all and I could feel the annoyance build up in me so much. i didn't talk too him the whole way home until he pulled up in my driveway. I think he new I was mad too some dregree but he wasn't responding maybe he was annoyed too but the questen was on the tip of my tounge and i had too ask it

"What are we" I asked as I opened the car door

"We my love are meant too be" Jack breathed the words almost knocked me out of the car and I wasn't sure what too say so I closed the door just too make sure my hearing was till fine it was

"Thank you for the um ride " I finally said

"Anytime" Jack said and then drove away

leaveing me dumbstruck and confused I was feeling that a lot lately.

Authors Note

Review and did you like the Flashbacks.......? should I do more or less or the same amount

Oh and check out my other stories

I write on Fictionpress

and this othersite

review and tell me what you think

So They won't let me leave links

but My Story On FictionPress is Called Song Girl By Trench Coats Suck

and my other story is on Jonasbrothersarchivefanfiction and my story is Forever&Always my penname is Chelseabestfriend

check them out and review


	7. Interlude Jack

Authors Note

Ok so this is a bit different for me and I wasn't really expecting too write it but I was talking too my best friend on the phone MIz Chelsea and I had just finished reading her the 5th chapter and she snapped into the phone The next chapter better be in his P.O.V so I decieded too listen too her since she knows best and write the 7th sorry Chelsea not the 6th chapter in Jacks P.O.V so enjoy I hope you like it and tell me what you think of Jack I really want too know.

Ok so i always want too say how sorry i am for the long wait, my beta disappeared, reappeared and than again she sort of disapppeared i'm sure she has her reasons, so i'm looking for a beta though? it'd be awesome this chapter i edited myself and i'm sorry it's not the best when i get a beta i promise it'll be better. Though so yeah beta anyone?

Love Hurts

Chapter 7

Interlude Jack

To love someone is like having perfect balance because without them by your side you , feel off balance.

Annoymous

I was standing outside a door I was nervous as hell and I was holding a flower in my hand, I was trying not too think about it. I trying to get the balls too knock on the door and I could hear someone calling my name "Jack Jack, Jack Jack",

I opened my eyes too see my sister standing in front of me. Hands on her hips she looked slightly pissed off. Great mornings already suck enough without a your teenager sister in Bitch mode. "Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack" She repeated over and over again god she was annoying did she ever shut up arghhhh. I rolled over too get away from her annoying voice maybe she'll get the message.

"Jack, Jack, Jack" apprantly not

"Go away" I groan as I put the pillow on top of my head too try and block her out. When did she get so annoying? oh I know when she learnt too speak she hasn't shut up since.

"Go away" I grumble as I try and tune her out, why couldn't they have just stopped with one child. I mean what did I do too deserve this what did i do?.

"Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack"

"What" I scream turning towards her and sitting up making sure too give her an extra hard glare that should scare her, it scares everyone else in my year

"Don't be so dramatic" Jenny complains. I just don't get it, if I gave one guy and, I mean a guy on the football team that glare he'd be scared shitless but not little sisters no not Jenny she just can't be stopped.

"What do you want" I groan

Jenny smiles at me she's so evil sometimes and she looks all sweet too "A lift"

"You woke me up for a lift"

"Yes"

"I'm not a fucking taxi"

"Language, and Mum and Dad are both out so your the only one that can give me a lift"

"Can't you just stay home"

"Jack it's saturday of course I can't" Jenny says impatinetly. I stare at her she's all dressed up and everything urghh women. Jenny is only 14 years old and she's already worked out how too control a guy. I feel sorry for her future husband poor guy. And seriously why must she go out? what's the big deal even when I'm not grounded. Which is the stupiest thing ever by the way I did nothing wrong! I don't feel the need to go out every bloody Saturday what's the big deal it's just a Saturday. I have more importanat things too think about like the fact I haven't seen Angel in 6 days thanks to being grounded. I can't even try and run into her now. How stalkish can I sound.

"Why not"

"Don't even try and understand now come on, it's not like you have anything better too do"

"I was sleeping"

"I need a lift too the shops and we have too pick Cindy up and I don't have time for your compliants so get dressed where already running late" Jenny says and begins pulling the covers off me she's like a bloody drill sargent

"I can't I'm grounded remember " I say bitterly pulling the covers back on me and out of her grip at least I'm stronger then her.

"Mum said you could give me a lift today since she's off visiting Aunty Leah and Uncle Dave and Josie and Dads at work" Jenny says rolling her eyes like I am behind the times she's trapped me the kid really knows how too get what she wants she gets that from Dad.

I don't bother arguing anymore it's just too much effort for this early in the morning instead I pull off the covers "How olds Josie now" I ask, Jenny grins in victery

"Five, your memory crap sometimes"

"Whatever"

"God Jack would it kill you too put on some clothes" Jenny complains

"Get out of my room if you don't like it" I tell her firmly. It's not like I'm naked I have boxers on I rummage through my draws too find something that doesn't smell awful. The downside of a werewolf is my smell is so strong.

"Your not going to have a shower"

"Nope" I say just too annoy her

"Your digusting"

"Whatever" I say pulling on some jeans and throwing on a t shirt

"At least put on shoes" Jenny says throwing them at me

"I'm not a hobo"

"Then why do you insist on dressing like one"

"Your a real bitch sometimes your aware of that right" I say as I pull on the shoes

"Well if it gets you too put on shoes then it's worth it" Jenny tells me smiling brightly. Girls I just don't understand them.

I walk towards the car grabbing the keys from the counter while Jenny babbles on about how I should buy a new shirt maybe something with a brand name on it. Like I give a fuck the only way I would care is if is Angel cares then maybe I would. It's sort of funny when you think about it. I was walking around feeling fine you know and then the next thing I know I met her and it's like I was nothing without her. My life wasn't pointless it just had no meaning until I met her. It's like you know when your a kid and there's that toy in the toy store that you really really want and you always go right too where it is and just stare at it and all you know is it's the best thing in the world and you really really want it, well it's like Angel is the toy but the want is a thousand times more.

I open the truck door and slide in and start the engine. All the way Jenny babbles on she must know I'm not listening but the girl just keeps on going doesn't she. Jenny jumps in and sits down making a point too put on a seatbelt and glare at me until I put one on too she's so demanding. For a girl who claims too hate me half the time she sure loves making sure I'm safe.

"Happy" I say saracsatically as I back out the driveway

"Don't forget where picking up Cindy" Jenny reminds me, oh shit I forgot about.

'Where does she live again"

"Don't you remember Forks"

'"I thought you met her in school"

"Her parents are divorced Jack" Jenny says with an annoyed sigh

"Oh right"

"Do you even remember Cindy really pretty long blonde hair and big blue eyes very pretty and smart and she's really good at drawing and...."

"do you have a liesbean crush or something"

"No, Jack I'm just sayin that you too would look I dunno nice together" Jenny says and casually as possible

"What are you talking about"

"Well it's not like you have a girlfriend or anything"

"Are you trying too set me up with Cindy" I ask horrfied at the thought. I new there was a reason I should have told my family about imprinting. But I just want too keep her in this perfect bubble of perfection, I'm different when I'm around her I'm better when I'm around her. She doesn't need too see the shit version of me.

"No, I was, god Jack I was just saying" Jenny says backtracking what a liar. Now I remember Cindy she always giggles when I speak too her. Like once I asked if she wanted juice she started giggling like it was funny or something. So I just shrugged and didn't get her any, which made Jenny really mad because I was being rude I didn't offer it's not my fault she can't form a sentence.

The trip is quiet, we drive past Angels house and I stare out the window. Why couldn't I be there why couldn't I just be with her all the time. It's like when I'm without her I'm off balance and when I'm with her I'm, I dunno just right. Something clicks and I'm where I belong and I'm just better I'm a better person, I'm shit at everything but I'm good with her. I'm good no one has ever believed I could do shit you know. I mean Mum and properly Jenny but when I look at her I dunno it feels like I can do anything.

"Where she live" I ask as soon as we drive into Forks, Jenny rattles off an address which is pretty easy too find this guy in her street throw a party there recently so I know it well. Angel was there she looked beautiful. I've never really thought of a girl as beautiful before hot sure but not beautiful and then I met her and she was beautiful there was no other words for it she was my beautiful.

I pull up and Jenny climbs out the of the car. she's not very tall she looks like mum all over, everyone is always saying that. Jenny doesn't have too knock on the door because it swings up and I can see Cindy and her mother who looks towards the car and frowns I can see them arguing I don't bother too listen and then next thing I know Cindy and her mother are walking towards us.

"Jackson, are you driving the girls today" Cindy's mother asks me and I can tell she's not happy about it, what's her name again Jenny stands behind her and mouths Belinda Hodge sometimes Jenny isn't so bad I''ll give her that. Jenny and Cindy climb in the car while Belinda Hodge waits for my answer.

"Yes I am, Miss Hodge"

"You''ll drive the speed limit I trust"

"Mum" Cindy shouts in embarssement

"Course, don't wanna risk my life or Jennys or Cindy's Miss Hodge" I say flashing a smile at her she's mush after the smile and happy about the Miss Hodge sometimes parents are too easy

"Alright, just drive safe and next time Cythinia tell me when Jackson is driving"

"Mum your..."

"I know, I know" Miss Hodge says rolling her eyes "Be safe I love you"

"Love you too" Cindy says

"Seatbelts on" I ask just for show both of em chores a yes and with that I give a wave too Miss Hodge and drive off.

"Jack can you stop at the mini mart we want food for the movie"

"Fine" I say mainly because I wouldn't mind some food either plus where right near it. I pull up and both of them rush too get out I follow suite, and walk behind them and then out of nowhere Cindy drops back so she's walking beside me, I look over at her waiting for what she wants she has heaps of make up on, it's weird before I use to always check out girls and now it's like I recernise if there are girl or not and that's it nothing more. My mind just doesn't work like that no other girl enters my mind in that way. It's sort of a shock too the system almost, but it's easy too see Cindy trying too look more like an 18 year old then a 14 year old.

"How are you Jack" She asks fluttering her eyes, oh please don't tell me little Cindy is trying too flirt with me, I open the door too the minimart and Cindy slips in "Thanks Jack, but how are you" She asks, that is the last time I open a door for a middle schooler.

"Good" I say and then begin to walk faster but Cindy manages too keep up. Please help me anybody take pity and then I see her Angel she's just standing there starring at the eggs biting her lip, I stop my whole world stops and I just stare at her watching how her brown hair falls past her shoulders and how she twirls a bit of it with her finger without even realising. she's she's mine and she's beautiful I want too be able too walk up to her and put my hand in hers and for her too kiss me for her too be known as mine too everyone and i want too be hers and I want Cindy too stop trying too flirt with me. And then Angel turns and our eyes lock and she starts walking towards me and I just stand there stund she's making the first move.

"Jack"

I feel a tug on my arm I snap back into reality and see Cindy beside me looking pissed off. Like i give a shit I turn back too Angel she's a few feet from me and the moment is broken I can see it on her face she's wondering if she can just slip away.

"Hey" I breath she's making me breathless and I work hard too keep my voice steady.

"Jack" She says and I love how she says my name in such an unsure voice like she's never sure that I'm really infront of her and this is happening, I gulp because she makes me loose anything I have protecting myself from being hurt.

"What are you doing" I ask

"I'm, I'm getting eggs but I...." She stops herself and I'm dying too here what she says next

"What" I ask dying too know

"It's stupid"

"I bet it is" Cindy mumbles but I hear and by the surprise in Angel eyes and subtle worry I know Angel has heard too she looks at Cindy and Me as if she's trying too work something out.

"What were you going too say" I say through gritted teeth, where the hell is Jenny and why isn't she getting her stupid friend away from me before I kill her.

"I want too get free range eggs but then I read somewhere it's all the same and freerange doesn't make a differance, so I wasn't sure which one too get since the others ones are more expansive but I hate too think of Chickens locked up in cages" Angel explains and she blushes as she says it and I loose my breath all over again by her words and her face. I hear Cindy annoyed sigh but I ignore it.

"Get the more expansive ones, people spend there whole lives not doing something cause it mighten be true" I say

Angel looks at me and she smiles at me "Your right Jack" She tells me and before she can go on, a women who looks like an older version of her almost wraps her arms around her and smiles at me.

"Angel who's this" She asks and flashes me a huge smile

"Oh his um well his names and I" She stumbles over her words

"I'm Jack" I say not missing a beat

"I'm Julie Angels Mum"

"Nice too meet you mam" i say turning on the charm

"you too"

"And what were you talking too my daughter about Jack"

"I was wondering if she'd like too see a movie with me and my sister and her friend" I say and I can't believe I just said it I just invited the most beautiful girl too a movie well her mother really.

"Mum I........."

"Go honey, honestly go, can you give her a lift there and back"

"Yes Mam"

"Sounds Fun, be safe sweetie I've gotta go line up"

"Mum..."

"Sweetie have fun I love you" Julie says and gives her a quick kiss

Her mother begins too walk away

"Mum, don't forget too get the free ranged eggs"

"Oh right thanks hun" Julie says

I look over at her and smile she blushes and I love her for it.

"Where's Jenny" I ask Cindy who is standing beside me looking like a five year old before they start throwing a tantrum

"She's in the car she just texted me"

"Oh ok cool" I say we start walking with Angel behind us and then I quickly drop back so Cindy leads the way and get too stand next too Angel. I lean in close together and I can her heart beat faster.

"Sorry I kinda of corned you into this" I whispered

"It's ok" She says

"I just, I dunno you make me do stupid things, and all too spend time with you" I say throwing my head back a weird habit I have when I'm nervous

"Why" She asks and I can hear the confusion in her voice and I hate that confusion when it's so obvious

I lean as close as possible "Because you, are worth it" I tell her close too her ear so she hears every word, I feel her heart beat really fast and I pull away before I kiss her. I don't want too force something on her she's not ready for that's not fair.

I look ahead and I see Cindy in the front sit what the hell is she doing, I can see the surprise in Jennys face when she sees Angel, I walk towards Cindy she's so annoying

"Hey Cindy why don't we let the big kids ride in the front huh" I say like she's two just too get back at her for the mean comment towards Angel. She looks really angry ready too combust with fusteration, but she climbs out of the car and into the back without another word, she does of course slam the door like the kid she is, and I open it again for Angel she smiles and climbs in awkwardly which makes me smile she's so beautiful.

I get in and start the engine "Angel do you have your seatbelt on" I ask

"Yea" She says and I glance over too make sure I'm not taking any risks with her saftey through the mirror I see the shocked look on Jenny's face and I try and ignore it.

Jenny and Cindy start talking loudly and I try and chune them out and drive safely while looking at Angel as much as possible

"You didn't have too make Cindy move you know" Angel says after a while

"I like you close" I tell her firmly and I see her look away awkwardly she's so beautiful.

It doesn't take that long too pull up at the nearest movie theatre, located next too the shopping centre. I learnt long ago from Jenny that shopping always included a movie, I jump out and open the door for Angel and she tries too get the surprised look off her face and climbs out, While Jenny mouth is wide open.

"Don't drool" I say casting a glance towards her, Jenny shakes her head and death stares me.

"I'm Jenny, Jacks little sister and your"

"Angel"

Jenny nods and smiles and I look over and see Cindy not looking happy at all.

"What are you two seeing"

"Seventeen Again" Cindy says

"The one with Zac Efron" Jenny reminds me

A chick flick great, I glance at Angel waiting too see what she wants too do

"I haven't seen a chick flick in awhile" She mummurs and I think mostly too herself

"Lets go see it" I say with a groan

"We don't have too I don't mind" She rushes

"No you properly want but this is what you really wanna see and I'm all about making your wildest dreams come true" I joke

"I really don't care"

"Neither do I" and then I lean right next too her ear "I'll properly just stare at you anyway"

Angels heart rate speeds up and she goes red, I pull away and I see Cindy glaring at us, while Angel looks away awkwardly, we walk towards the line it's a bunch of girls great, there all standing there talking about how hot Zac Efron is great.

"His is seriously hot" Jenny says too Cindy

"Hottest guy alive" Cindy agrees

Kill me now

"Don't you reckon, Angel"

My eyes flicker towards Angel I look nothing like Crap Efron I mean Zac Efron and it pains me too think she looks at another guy and sees him as hot espically when he looks nothing like me.

"His easy on the eyes" She admits and I can at least handle that

"Let me guess your types more tall dark" Jenny glances at me "and disgusting"

"huh" Angel says I roll my eyes at Jenny

"She's referring too me" I tell her

"Well Jack his, Jack um....."

"You think his hot we get it" Cindy jumps in rolling his eyes at Angel and I death stare her did she have too ruin the moment

"Jack is handson" Angel finally says and I'm surprised by how forward she was and i see a wave of irration hit Cindy features but before she can act like the bitch she is the guy at the counter interupts her

"Can I help you"

Cindy spins around and buys her ticket, Jenny follows and then I step up I'm pretty sure the guy goes too my school his in my science class I think and his on the football team I'm pretty sure yeah his on the football team.

"Two tickets too...." i can't say the words I mean I do have some sort of image and it's going too be smashed, if Angel stands back and waits in line. I was going too surprise her with buying her ticket but I can't take the humilation.

"Angel, what's the movie called again" I ask Angel walks forward too tell me I guess

"Seventeen again" She says

"Yeah that's right too tickets too 17 again and one large popcorn and two large slushes"

The guy nods his head and I catch his name tag that's right his name is Nick, as soon as he walks away Angel turns too me.

"I'll pay for my tIcket you don't even want too see the movie" She insists

"I told you too get use too being treated right" I say and before she can say anything else Nick appears with our food.

"So science is a bitch" I say too him, Nick looks pleased I know him

"Yeah it's shit, so I'm guessing the only reason your seeing this is cause of another bitch huh" Nick says and then laughs, oh that's right. Nicks also an asswhole and he just called Angel a bitch, Angel looks hurt and slightly surprised and I can see she's wondering if I'm just going too expect this. I know what Nick like his a loser. and he thinks his leveling with me talking like i want him too wrong.

"Her names Angel" I tell him death starring him hard, and i can't resist I grab his t shirt and bring his face towards mine. I can hear his heart speed up like Angels does when I get this close. but for a whole another different he looks scared shitless I still gotta it.

"Don't make that mistake again or your own bitch as you call em want recernise you, got it" I say through gritted teeth, Nick nodds his head and I smile take the tickets and drink and and begin too walk away, making sure Angel is following me.

"Do you have too be mean too every hot guy" Jenny complains

"Yep" I say

Jenny rolls her eyes and her and Cindy walk ahead I think too make a point of some kind who knows, Angel stays completely silent the whole time not saying a word.

"If what I did upset you I'm sorry but I couldn't let him say that" I tell her as the usher rips our tickets, Angel stares at me surprise on her pretty features.

"It upset me Jack yes, but I'm not upset with you I just I no one ever cared enough too want too hit someone for me"

"Well trust me when I say that will never be a problem for me" I tell her as I open the door too the movie theatre for her. We walk in and I spot Jenny and Cindy in the middle the theatre is empty mostly besides a couple of other people in different sections.

"Where do you wanna sit"

"The back?"

"Perfect" I tell her we go right too the back and before I can say anything else the bloody movie starts. I didn't even notice we walked in when the previews were showing. The movie wasn't bad it was kinda of boring really and then Zac Efron starts dancing with the mum and I look over at Angel which is all I've really been doing and she leans into me "It's sweet he really loves her" Angel says too me normally I'd roll my eyes if it was any other girl but it's her so it's different so I grab her hand.

"Jack" She says unsure as I lead her towards the alise

"What are you doing"

"Where gonna dance"

"What"

"Yeah, you me Dance"

"But where at the movies"

"So there's music" I say and pull her towards me in the dancing stance I'm pretty sucky at it but we did it in PE, once so we sort of shuffle back and forth with her head resting on my shoulder as we slow dance "Sorry I can't dance" I whisper

"It doesn't matter" She says and we just dance in the movie theatre. I feel people watching us but it just doesn't matter and as soon as the scene ends and the dancing stops she pulls away and smiles at me. "Perfect moment" She says and leads me back too the sits and after that I don't even look at the screen again just her.

"Jack, the movie's over" Angel tells me finally looking over at me

"Oh right, did ya like it"

"Yeah it was good, Did you like i"

"I didn't really watch it" I tell her

As we walk out we stand by the exits and wait for Jenny and Cindy they come out after a while both giggling about the movie, oh god help me.

"So what are we doing next" I ask

"Shopping" Jenny says "Remember the plan"

"Oh right"

"Do you wanna shop or what" I ask Angel

"We could just get something too eat" Angel suggests

"Yeah sounds good" I say smiling

"My mum just texted me and says I have too be home now" Cindy suddnely says

"Why" Jenny asks

"I dunno, but I dont want too risk getting grounded can we go is that ok"

I really hate Cindy she seems really too ruin everything.

"Sure, Jack that's ok right" Jenny says not giving me a choice

"Yeah, sorry Angel"

"Doesn't matter" She says I nod my head and we all forward out too the car the trip home is long since I don't want Jenny and Cindy overhearing our coverstation I don't say much and neither does Angel we drive in silence, as I pull up at Angel house I feel a pang of saddness she's gonna leave and I hate that idea more then anything in the world

"Thank you for everything Jack" She says

"I'll walk you"

"No it's fine"

"I want too"

"I have too get home where already late" Cindy butts in

"See" Angel says and climbs out. I don't leave until I know she's safe in the house and then I drive off with the obnixious Cindy, as soon as we pull up at her place I can't wait for her too leave.

"Thank you for the lift Jack" She says and then giggles

"Whatever"

"Thank you" She repeats and then finally leaves just as she's about too get in her house her mum pops out and with my hearing I can clearly hear why are you home so early she planned it, she ruined my day on purpose what a bitch I don't say anything mainly because Jenny will feel the need too stand up for her and i can't be bothered fighting with her, so instead I pull away as fast as i can hoping her mum won't let her in the car again.

"Slow down Jack" Jenny cries

"Oh right sorry" i say slowing down, Jenny waits until where well below the speed limi too relax again.

"So who's Angel"

"She's just a friend"

"I've never seen you like that with anyone"

"mmmm"

"You opened her door and you paid for her ticket and for crying out loud you danced with her in a movie theatre"

"soooooooooooooo"

"Cindy was so jealous"

"Whatever"

"You went and saw a chick flick for her just cause she indicated she might wanna see it and then she gave you an option too get out of it and you went too it cause you knew she wanted too"

"mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

"And you just kept looking at her and not like checking her out like you were in awe of her"

"mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

"Jack you love her don't you" Jenny states it's not a question she already has it all figured it out

"Yeah I do" I admit no point lying now

"You've imprinted on her haven't you"

"Yes, but don't you dare tell mum or dad or I'll kill you"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah I won't so what's it like"

"It's like realisng the only reason you have for living up to this point was just too meet her and the rest of your life is just too make her happy"

"Wow" Jenny says

"Yeah I know it's crazy"

"No, Wow you love something more then food"

"Shut up"

"I think it's sweet Jack"

"It's not sweet it's guyish it's I dunno it's true love or some shit and it's powerful"

"She's Beautiful Jack"

"She's mine" I say

"obbesive much"

"Whatever"

"I meant possive"

"I know"

"Oh well at least your smart and possivve good for when you kidnap her"

"Stop speaking" I deadpan

"No seriously I'm happy for you"

"Thanks Jenny"

"Anytime" Jenny says as we pull up at home and I smile as we get out of the car.

Angel and I are meant too be it's the fucking best feeling in the world. It's like eating ice cream on a really hot day. it just feels good you know, Jenny jumps out of the car and starts her way too the house, she's on a high she loves all this romance stuff, I walk slowly beside her until I hear my phone go off, Mum made me get one last year and the only people that have the number are her and Wolfie she wanted too keep better track of me. since I was always disappearing and Kim put the idea in her head. The trouble is I don't like being kept track of. I flip it open it's either mum calling cause she's worried or Wolfie the chances are it's properly Mum.

"Hey" I greet

"Jack, it's me" Wolfie says

"What's up" I ask normally Wolfie just comes around instead of calling weird.

"There's a party next saturday so cancel or your plans or the plans you make with Angel just giving you a heads up"

"Why are you calling" I ask trying too ignore how pissed of I am about the parties, My Dad likes too make us go down too these parties when ever other teenagers have them too keep an eye on them when there on the rez and all that. It use too be the funniest thing ever cause Wofie and I'd pick up chicks drink a bit but remain sober and party basically but I don't want too go I want too spend time with her and Wolfie wants too spend time with Sophia it's become an job now which all round sucks.

"Work, on a break"

"You don't have a job"

"I work for Sophia's Grandma remember"

"Oh, right still doing that"

"Shit have too go her Grandma coming back in and she's bring sandwhiches" Wolfie explains and then the line goes dead I roll my eyes and stuff my phone back in my pocket and follow Jenny towards the door. She looks over at me and rolls her eyes

"Tallking too your girlfriend" She teases

"Wolfie"

"Exactly your girlfrined" She repeats

"Open the door"

"I thought you had the key"

"Nope you do"

"No I don't"

"Your not funny"

"I seriously don't have the key"

"Great" I say with a sigh so maybe being in love rocks but getting suck outside your house is shit.

Authors Note

So what did you think

and sorry again for the long update

so here's a question should i keep updating with no beta or is too bad too read through

let me know

and as for all my spelling mistakes don't go and on about them i know i suck and i'm sorry.

So what did you thnk Of Jack anything you wanna see in the futurre


	8. What is Forever?

**Authors Note**

**It's weird too think I'm up too chapter 8 and only chapter one is up crazy anyway here is the next chapter. I'm sure I'll add more when I go to upload this but I try and just add on to my Authors Notes from what I wrote when I first started writing the chapter I dunno why I just do, so if it sounds like I'm jumping from one thing too another in them it's just cause I'm writing the end of an author's note days or weeks after I originally wrote it well REVIEW and I hope you love it back to Angel.**

**Merry Christmas everyone its my belatted christmas present sorry i haven't uploaded so busy and some beta issues but i'm all set up now so enjoy updates for at least once a week for a while I promise hopefully forever and keep reviewing =] **

_**Chapter 8**_

Forever isn't for how long you're with that someone but it's how long you love them.

The noise is like a shock to my system like turning on the water and not realizing how hot it really is until your body just cannot take it anymore, it hurts and your natural instinct is to run away from it yet at school I'm trapped and forced to move forward. As I step into school grounds my feet feel like lead as I walk in, I don't want to go and yet I know I don't really have any other option. Home is quiet at the moment with just me and mum it's sort of like where both walking on egg shells being careful too not upset each other and you just know something is gonna happen but your just not sure when or what, I hate that feeling it's like going on an upside down rollercoaster the kind where you know your gonna live through it, you're just not sure how. You know and your stomach has a thousand butterflies in it because you're so on edge, it feels like my home life is like that. I'm not even sure why she thinks I'm angry at her, the Kyle thing I guess, I know I should tell her I spoke to him but we don't communicate anymore where like two ships always sailing past each other and never colliding and I know it's my own fault but I just don't really talk to her and it's a bad habit, I can't pull myself out of it's like the first time you ride a bike you know you can do it since you've seen so many others do the same thing, you're trying to do it, you're just not sure how. I sometimes wonder when mum and I became the way we are, two people so different, and I wonder why she never stops trying with me, I know that sometimes when she tries to talk to me, it's like talking to a rag doll, unresponsive and limb and yet she persists, I don't know why she does though. I guess she's just one of those people that just refuses to give up she's the kind of person that will climb a mountain and get to the very end and die from exhaustion, but she did what she set out to do, I wish I was more like that; I'm the type of person who won't climb the mountain, just sit at the bottom and die of fright at just the very thought, my mom is fearless and I'm always scared shitless, I wonder if that's why she's a therapist, she wants to help people become fearless like her, but how do you teach that? how do you explain it? it seems more like something you either have or you don't, it's like if you had blue eyes, you can put contact in and pretend your eyes are brown or green, but at the end of the day there still blue, and you can't do anything to change that.

"Hey" Jade says. I could recognize her voice anywhere, it's loud and fearless and it screams "this-is-who-I-am". Jade's the kind of person that could easily lead protests in the street, the type that gets arrested for doing the right thing and taking a stand when no one else will. Jade looks over at me, she has her hair done in tiny little braids and her clothes are loud and bright. The kind that attracts even more attention to her, I wonder if she did the braids herself and how long it took, but I doubt it, Jade doesn't seem like the patient type. It's odd how even though her clothes make her be noticed, they don't look like she's trying to get noticed, more like she's saying "this-is-me, if you like it good and if you don't better!

"Oh Hey" I mumble, my voice soft and quiet and hard to understand.

"We can finally finish the conversation we started the other day before my brother rudely interrupted huh?" Jade says and I almost jump back in shock when I realize she's walking next to me, people don't really walk next to me, they just sort of walk by me, they pass me by like I'm a lamp post, avoid it and keep going, you know that song from Oliver _"Consider Yourself Part of the Furniture"?_ well, I'm like the furniture, everyone just avoids it no one hates it or loves it they just know not to run into it, like common sense I guess. Yet here Jade is walking beside me like this is what we do every day, her eyes are sparking with interest and I'm surprised she even remembers our conversation, she must make small talk with a billion other people how could she even keep track.

"So how do you know those two hotties?" She asks and then gives a quick wave to about every person we're pass without taking her eyes off me, she's the kind of person that makes you feel like the most interesting person in the world without even trying. She manages to always keep her focus on you and her eyes sparkling like every word you say captures her.

"Oh um...."

"Are you dating one, or both" She jokes and then lets out a loud laugh and smiles at me, Jade has the kind of laugh that most people don't have any more, it's not quiet or contained it's loud and happy like the laugh you use too have when you were little, that you stopped using because it made people look at you, Jade hasn't lost that laugh "Sorry I interrupted you then, I have bad manners right? Go on, I'm dying too know" Jade says her face seriously with interest, she deliberately pushes into a guy who stumbles and then looks over and glares at her but goes back too talking too his friend, he looks like a Sophomore and one of the popular ones.

"My brother don't worry I'm not some bitch that walks around pushing people and stealing their lunch money, but come on, who are the guys, you gonna make a girl beg" Jade has this habit of jumping from one topic to another some people may call it annoying, but she sort of makes it likeable somehow.

"It was my brother and his best friend Brock" I said quietly.

"Which one was your brother?" She asks.

"Blonde haired one" I mumble.

"Then I won't tell you how fine he was, but Brock, to die for" She gushes.

"Lost cause he's in love" I say.

"Damn what about your brother?"

"No one" I admit and I go back to our time in the beach, I wonder who he was talking about when he said he's in love with someone who couldn't love him back… How is that even possible? Hayden makes friends with everybody, everyone loves him! It always just seem like everything to Hayden, socially at the very least, came easily. Why a girl wouldn't fall for him? He's smart and good with people, how could that not be appealing?

"Hook a sister up" She jokes "So what's the deal? You guys look nothing alike"

"Yeah I know, he looks like my Dad more but my other brother and I take after our mum" I say, painfully remembering.

"Other brother? Tell me more" She demanded.

"Where twins" I say instead of _he's in jail_ which is the first thing that comes to mind really, I mean that's what people like hearing, don't they? the drama of it all... It's sort of wrong too think of my brother and then Jail cause there's so much more to him then that, and yet in a way, Jail defines who he is, his caged and tough, isn't that what you associate Jail with?, if you're in a place long enough it becomes a part of you.

"You gotta get me a picture" Jade says and then smiles. The bell rings loudly and Jade frowns "Damn History, I swear my teachers is like out to get me"

"Me too, about the history, I'm in the other class" I say.

"What's the point, I mean it's already happened" Jade grumbles.

"I think it's about looking about what History taught us" I mused.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I know, well I better start my trek towards doom" She says dramatically.

"See you" I say, Jade smiles and we both go off in different directions.

I feel stunned by how nice Jade is, just plain nice, which is rare these days, being nice isn't something that people are anymore, polite sometimes, but nice no, we all pretend to be, to a point, but she's one of the few people that is nice, different and loud but nice. I wonder towards History the classroom is at the very end of the hallway, it's rare, we have two free-selection of classes for the year, but History was popular, I walk in with a couple of other people so I don't stand out and sit down in my usual sit, by myself this time everyone here seems to have a friend of some sort and there's no other girl here that is as lost as me, looking for someone to sit with. The shame of sitting by yourself is bad it just feels like you may as well have Loner imprinted on your forehead, for some reason you just feel raw and like everyone is watching you and even though I am a loner having it broadcasters makes me feel a tad bit sick to the stomach. Mr. Stammer stands in front of the class and claps his hands too calm us down, he's in his early 50's and properly dying for retirement, he's one of those not great but not horrible teachers, that seems to be the story of my life, I'm never great at anything but I never suck at anything, It's almost worse than sucking at something at least you can rule something out, instead I just get by in everything it makes me feel so ordinary, which I am, I'm one of those people that could die and it wouldn't really make a difference, I mean my family would feel some grief of course, but in the Grand Scheme of things my death wouldn't make an impact at all.

"Settle class, will you? We have important things to learn today, in fact we're learning about......" He stops mid sentence when there's a knock at the door, with an annoyed sigh he shakes his head. "Come in late student"

"Sorry, I'm not late well I am but I'm not, my teacher said it'd be better if I came here, so even though I'm late it was pretty hard for me to be on time." Jade tells him, I'm surprised she's so casual about it she's even easy with teachers nothing seems too faze her.

"Oh, well"

"I mean technically you can send me back, but that might make me think no one loves me, so maybe I should just stay here"

"I suppose that will be fine"

"Awesome"

"You can sit next tooo.............." Mr. Stammer looks around for the empty sit and there's only one left beside me, which will just bring more attention to the fact that I'm by myself, I almost start blushing at the very thought of it. I know I shouldn't care what people think, but it's embarrassing all the same.

"No worries, Angel already saved me sit" Jade says and breezes past him and takes a sit next to me, like it's the most natural thing in the world, see what I mean by nice? she just knows things other people don't seem to, she saved me the embarrassment, the problem with girls like Jade or anyone like her is that you feel the need to be their best friend because there so nice but they've got a hundred girls wanting to be, and you have to remember this is the way they act around everyone, and not to try and cling to them, they're nice and they make you feel like you're best friends, but at the end of the day, you're just friends and there's no point overloading all this information of them, or telling them everything. It would be so easy if Jade was making a special effort with me and we became best friends, but that's not how things work, I have to remind myself that her being nice isn't a big deal.

Mr. Stammer nods his head at Jade as if to show he approves and continues on with whatever he was saying before.

"Thanks" I whisper as soon as I'm sure he won't hear me

"Naw, no problem I hate it when that happens, it's a real bitch and so awkward" She whispers back.

"How would you know?" I say and I want to take back the words because they make me sound desperate and sad and all wrong.

"I'm not always the most popular girl around" Jade explains, seeming unfazed by my comment, "You know what I like about you? you're the first real person I've met since I moved here" Jade says.

"What?" I stammer.

"Mmmhhmmm, yeah, I haven't really clicked with anyone here you know, but you, I can tell your gonna be a real friend" She says deep in thought.

"A......"

"Haven't had one of those since I moved here, sorry I'm properly totally freaking you out aye, my bad, I do this thing where I don't edit I just sort off think out loud, it totally freaks people out and drives my brothers crazy, my bad" She apologizes.

"No it's refreshing" I manage too say.

"Thanks"

Before I die of a heart attack from the shock I stick up my hand and ask to go to the bathroom, it's just all too much, I know this should be perfectly normal, making a friend and all that, but for so long it hasn't been and yet here Jade is offering a friendship like it's no big deal, and I want to faint cause I'm not even sure if I know how to be a friend, can you forget how to a be friend? Maybe knowing me, I properly have. I feel bad because I know Jade looked a tad hurt when I asked too go to the bathroom, she properly thought she had freaked me out which she had, but in a good way. I push open the door of the girls bathroom, two girls are in there already fiddling with their hair, same year as mine and everything, Sandy and Amber they don't know me but I know of them, they're popular girls and they're alright as far as being decent goes, they both look at me as if to know if I'm worth talking to and then turn back to the mirrors, fixing their hair, I open the bathroom stall and shut it behind me sitting down and pretending to go to the bathroom so I don't look weird or something.

It's not like I really care what they think, but I don't want to be known as the weird girl, I don't want to be known at all. I stare at the graffiti on the wall, there's not much in this stall and I wonder how long I have to stay in her to make it look realistic. The chipped paint looks old and I wonder if this school will ever get the government funding it so desperately needs, and if Kylie still loves Dave or if Jenna still hates Anna. I've always wanted to write something, but I've never had the guts, what would I write anyway. I've always wanted to be one of those girls that has Angel hearts whoever but I have no one to write under the love heart, or a guy to write that about me on a bathroom wall, I guess it sounds sort of tacky, but to me it's sweet cause it's like set in stone forever. Even if you break up it's always going to be there, well hopefully as a reminder of what you had, bittersweet but nice. I stop starring at the wall and start listening to the conversation to pass the time.

"So you heard about that party?" Amber says her voice has a whiny edge to it and it's one of those voices you can't listen to for too long before your ears start too hurt.

"Yeah I'm going, I need to talk to someone new" Sandy responds.

"Like there will be anyone new there" Amber snorts.

"True but Bonfire party at La Push equals those hot boys from the Rez" Sandy responds.

"Who? Wolfie and Jack" Amber asks and I start really listening at the sound of Jacks name, I can't help it, I'm more then curious.

"Yeah mm I wanna hook up with one of those Rez boys, maybe Jack, he's totally smoking!" Sandy muses.

"Same differ, they look the same"

No they don't, they look completely different and I don't know why I feel the need to cry at the thought of Jack hooking up with Sandy, but I do and I hate that feeling. Why would you want to hook up with someone if you can't even tell him apart from his friend, they're not even brothers, they have completely different faces! it's so obvious.

"True, oh well whatever"

"Ha, good to see you're not picky" Amber says.

"Wouldn't talk if I were you, I heard about what happened with you and Greg at the…"

"Shhh, I get it, I get it but I blame that on alcohol"

"Likely story"

"You heard about the bet" Amber suddenly says.

"What bet? And I know what you're doing changing the subject"

"You wanna know about the bet or not?"

"Ok spill" Sandy says excitedly.

"Lucy and that entire group got together and made this bet, whoever gets a hot La Push boy, gets a hundred dollars from each person who you know goes in the bet or whatever"

"Easy as"

"Yeah but get, as in, they fall in love with you get, you know how like all the hot old ones are like so _in_ love with their wives, yah like get like that, there all La Push girls or newbie's to the area so they reckon, a Forks girls earned the right or something stupid"

They both start laughing at it.

"How did you find about that?" Sandy asked.

"They asked if I wanted to be in it, it's pretty much a joke but you know can't help it if you get a couple of hundred bucks right"

"Yeah well sign me up"

"Yeah, I will its mean to be faze one, this Saturday or something"

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"Crazy" Sandy exclaims.

"You want in?"

"Totally! Good for a laugh"

"Well, may the best whore win" Amber says.

"You'll make a great runner up" Sandy agrees.

"Shit I got to get to class; otherwise my teacher will chuck a spazz"

"Same"

I hear the sound of footsteps and then both girls leave, and I remind myself to take deep breaths, Jack, that kind of guy, the kind of guy that people take bets on even if it is more or less a joke, bet you have to be a certain kind of guy to be even the guy in a joke bet, and I don't like the kind of guy there talking about. Is whatever Jack is doing with me just some game, he's really good at. I wonder if he's taken other girls to see "Seventeen Again" and danced with them. I take another deep breath it's not a big deal, why does it matter so much anyway? I splash water over my face and walk slowly back to class, I take my sit next to Jade who gives me a worried look. She turns towards me her face concerned.

"Are you ok did I freak you out that much" Jade asks.

"It wasn't you, it was something else"

"Oh"

"Yeah" I mumble and turn towards the teacher I can see the questions in Jade eyes, but I choose to ignore them.

***

The week passed quickly after that, mainly because I got a cold you know the kind that makes you feel like crap and you can't move, that kind, and my head was aching and I hated it more than anything, all I did was sleep all day. It's Saturday afternoon and I was still replaying that conversation between Sandy and Amber, again and again and again, was she really going to hook up with him and why did I care so much?

Mum was out again today she didn't mean to, but she had to go to this retreat with one of her clients who invited her along and Mum couldn't say no, so I wasn't seeing her until Sunday which was sort of a relief cause even though she took care of me when I was sick. Sometimes it just felt awkward or maybe that was just me. It was like we were both trying too hard, it felt wrong and forced and every time I tried to tell her about Kyle the words wouldn't form in my mouth. A knock on the door startled me, I jumped up though hoping it was Jack which I know is wrong, but he seemed to be constantly on my mind, you know how some people are like obsessed with something, Xbox, Facebook or their job even, and they can't stop talking about it, I've been obsessed with this whole Jack and Sandy thing and I've just been waiting for him to come round tonight and stay with me and give me peace of mind, and I'm not even sure why I need that peace of mind but I desperately do.

I open the door and I'm surprised to see Jade, she looks almost nervous, which is hard to imagine with a person like Jade.

"Hey I've been feeling bad this week, I think I might have scared you into not coming to school, so I'm seriously sorry"

"It's not you, I got sick" I said truthfully.

"Oh shit really aye, I feel like such an idiot now, thinking the whole world revolves around me, maybe my brother is right, ok I'm not going that far but ya know" She said embarrassedly.

"I got a nasty cold, um do you wanna come in" I explained opening the door more, hoping I'm coming across as inviting and not weird or something.

"You mind"

"No, I just lost an almost perfect Friday, so I've been bored all today"

"I hate that" Jade says as she follows me into my house, I shut the door and lead her to the lounge room, Jade sits on the couch and smiles at me as I join her.

"Cinderella story hey, I love that movie"

"Me too"

"I love the end scene I'm always like damn you Hilary Duff back off my man"

"Yeah I feel the same way" I laughed.

"So look I hate being a total loser, but you seem not ok, so what's up?" She asks sincerely.

"I'm, I like this guy I guess, and I think his gonna hook up with Sandy Ashmen at the La Push party tonight" I tell her it's so weird having someone to say this to, and yet it feels so good and it reminds me on what I've been missing out on. Just someone to talk about stuff like this, with someone my own age who generally cares and listens, I lost a lot of friends, ok all of them back home after everything and I haven't had someone that isn't family to talk in so long, I'm almost dying to tell her more but I hold back one thing at a time.

"That explains it, so who's the guy?"

"Jack Uley"

"Shit you just had to like the most impossible guy to get, I mean you can get with him but not really you know"

"Yeah I know"

"So, did he tell you there gonna hook up? Cause that is so low"

"No, I heard her say she had plans to"

"Oh bitch"

"Aren't you friends"

"I like you more, so you gotta stop her" Jade says brushing off the comment

"Huh" _What the hell was she thinking?_

"You gotta turn up looking hot and totally out shine her"

"I'm not really good at that stuff" Yeah right, I'm not even that pretty.

"Come on! It'll be a total Cinderella moment, when she's walking down those stairs in that hot gown"

"I don't like people looking at me and I don't have anything to wear"

"I have stuff you can borrow and will keep it low key okay? So you're not like totally everyone-turns-to-you, he knows you right? We'll just make sure you catch his eye" she said winking at me.

"Jade I"

"Yeah I know I'm full on, tell me when to back off"

"It's not that it's just"

"Ok I'll back off"

"No, thanks I just wanted to say, thank you" I explain it's been so long since someone cared enough to want to help me with stuff like this.

"No problem, come on we gotta get to my house and make you go from drab to fab, sorry one too many episodes of queer eye for the straight guy"

"Understood" I laughed, and for the first time I truly smiles at the though of maybe having friends.

The thoughts swirl in my head of what I'm doing, this isn't a good idea at all and he's not going to notice me, but just for tonight I want to be the girl that climbs the mountain and gets to the top. I think about what Kyle would say, he'd probably wanna beat up Jack but he'd say go for it, the people I love the most go for it, they're fearless, and maybe I can't ever really be fearless just like my eye color won't change, but maybe for tonight I can wear contacts and do things differently for a change. I can be Fearless.

***

"Put this on" Jade tells me and chucks me a black dress it's short and has a gold zipper going all the way down it, it's cute, sure cute on someone else not me, Jade house isn't far away from mine, it's ok well it is everything is though, it's in forks and it's a two story brick house that smells of cookies and home. I stare at the dress again it's so short, short for me anyway.

"Um, Jade it's a bit"

"Trust me"

I stare at it and put it on, putting my faith in someone else for a change and the feelings nice, it's nice to have a friend and I never realized how much I missed having a girl in my life that isn't family, and isn't bound to love me unconditionally.

"Well…" I say to Jade as I'm doing up the gold zipper

"So hot" Jade says and chucks me some boots, they're black but there basically flat so I put them on.

"Perfect you look beautiful"

I stare in the mirror I don't look cheap, but I wish the dress was longer so I had more to hide behind. But I'm going to be fearless tonight I remind myself, fearless, just for one night be fearless, I can wear this dress can't I.

"You're wearing it" She says with a tone of finality in her voice.

"I'm not the kind of girl that can pull this look off" I say, I'm not like those girls that would put this on and look hot, I just look like a try-hard, I look like the kind of girl that is trying to look like something she's not, I'm trying to make myself look hot, when I'm the kind of girl that is clearly made to blend in.

"Yes you are"

"I don't look hot, I look like I'm just trying to" I whined.

Jade rolls her eyes "I love your hair out, leave it like that, come on we gotta go, the party has already started" She says.

"I don't look hot and I can't do this"

"Do I have to prove it too you or something?" She asks.

"You can't prove it" I say.

"Watch, Robbie get in here" She yells.

Two seconds later Robbie-her brother- and two of his friends appear on the door looking at us early.

"Boys does she look hot?" Jade asks smugly.

"Smokin'" One with blonde bangs says.

"Hot" The guy with light brown hair agrees.

"Finally you get a hot friend" Robbie says and that is my cue to blush.

"Ok point proven aye now, stop drooling and get out of my room" Jade commands the boys leave and I go bright red, I almost feel like she must have somehow planned this ahead of time and told them what to say, but it seems a little over planned, and I doubt it, but the truth seems too unbelievable.

"Come one we gotta go"

"Jade wait" I say as she pulls on my arm.

"What"

"Thank you"

"Hey what are overly controlling but totally adorable friends for?"

I can't help it I let out a laugh and it feels good. It feels like Easter morning when you wake up and you see your chocolates and your eyes go huge cause you can't believe that you got that much, and you feel lucky and you jump on your parent's bed and wake them up and you just feel good. That kind of good…

By the time we get to La Push, the party has already started, people are talking and gossiping and drinking, the fire is burning and I feel like a loser, cause I haven't seen any of this before, it was like the first time I went to the beach, and it all looks so new and different, you don't feel like you belong, and you think you shouldn't be there. But I got used to the beach, and ended up loving it, but I don't think I'll get use to this anytime soon. Jade grabs my hand and pushes past people saying _"Hey"_ quickly and moving on.

"You see him?" She whispers

"No" I admit, his not even one of those easy to miss people, he's huge and towers over everyone, he's hard to miss, and my stomach larches, the thought of this all being for nothing, a complete waste of time. And then I see him, he's sitting on a log, looking really bored with Wolfie there, both looking equally bored and a couple of girls are a few meters away, drinking and giggling and trying to get their eye contact, one of them is Sandy, my competition, and of course she looks prettier and blonder then me.

"There" I whisper, Jade scans the crowd and sees him, she nods her head and pulls me to a secluded area where people aren't a couple of meters away from the group of girls that are making eyes, so he can see me, we're like a smaller version of them and I feel stupid already, like one of those girls that Pink sings about, boy crazy and sad, just freaking sad.

"What are we doing?" I ask

"We are getting you noticed without trying, now just start talking to me, and I'll tell you when he looks over ok?"

"Jade this is stupid"

"No it's not, trust me this is how I landed my last boyfriend"

"What happened to him?"

"Oh, he cheated on me with Amber"

"Downgrade"

"Thanks"

"So… Do you like anyone?"

"Mmmm sort of, but his to mix singly"

"Oh"

"Yeah, he doesn't go here, he works as a waiter in this restaurant, he goes to the school in the Rez and we talk sometimes but it's not like his made a move, and I'm so sick of making the first move with guys, so we'll see, properly nothing"

I feel him then starring at me.

"Oh his looking"

"Ok" I say trying to act like I didn't know.

"Oh my god the guy is looking at you like really looking"

"He does that"

"Intense"

"Yeah I know"

"His walking over"

"What?" Oh Shit!

"Yep, man on a mission, Sandy looks pissed priceless" She's is gonna break her face if she smiles any brighter.

"Is it bad I feel good about that?"

"Probably, but who gives a shit?"

"He'll be here in 5,4,3,2,...."

"Hey" Jack voice breaths, and I almost forget how to breathe myself, he smiles at me his heartbreaking smile.

"Hi"

"I didn't think you'd be here" He says, his voice is so intoxicating and I'm drowning in him, will it ever get easier to look him in the eye without losing all sense of reality?

"I am"

"I'm glad, I missed you"

Missed me the words feel foreign to me, someone missing my presence, most people aren't aware of it, yet it's like his hyper aware of mine, like he really does miss me, like he's not lying and honestly cares weather I'm around or not, it's an amazing feeling, the best in the world and I wish I could somehow always feel like this, this sense of completeness.

"Sandy missed you too" I say feeling petty and stupid for bringing it up, what's the point whatever he says now, which will be how hot she is, will hurt my feelings.

"Who's Sandy?" Jack asks general confusion on his features, I'm surprised he doesn't know her name, most people know hers, she's just one of those people, people just tend to know one of those girls, not the queen bee but known.

"A fan" I mumble and indicate in my head in the other direction, he looks over in mild interest and then back at me.

"She's, she's not you"

"So"

"So she's not really worth my attention" He says and he moves his face closer to mine and I'm lost all over again.

"Have you met my friend, Jade" I stammer.

Jack looks away from me and he doesn't seem too happy about it, but he does and flashes Jade a smile

"Hey" He says all casual like he hasn't just been starring at me intensely and whispering too, like she's not there, even though she is. Jade smiles at him lightly and I could see some shock on her pretty features.

"Nice too meet you" Jade greets and flashes another huge smile in his direction, Jack nods his head towards her in that way guys can only seem to get away with and flashes his eyes towards me.

"So, have ya heard about the bet" Jade asks her voice is clearly amused and I feel my face go red at the very thought of him knowing about it, something about the idea of him knowing just how wanted he is bothered me. It's like when you see celebrities and when their first called hot, they don't care and then after a while they realize there hot, and they just seem less hot.

"Bet" Jack says as if his tasting out the words in his mouth like it doesn't sound right, its sweet really, and I wonder if this how he process things he doesn't understand.

"Boy your clueless, ok look over there and that group of girls" Jade commands her voice still amused and eyes flashing with interest, Jack looks over bluntly and his hand brushes against mine, it feels electric and he looks down at our hands so close together and smiles before quickly looking up and taking note of them.

"Yeah"

"They have a bet that they can make you fall in love with one of them, winner gets a hundred bucks off each girl that entered"

"Weird" Jack says shaking his head in confusion and then looking at me again, his full attention fully on me.

"Yey, well you too crazy kids have fun aye, I gotta catch up with some peeps call me when you wanna go home kay" Jade says and gives me a quick wink before wondering off. She pushes past a couple of people and then disappears into the sea of people, and I almost want to call her back, being alone with Jack is almost too much for me to handle, it's like touching a frying pan when it's hot, your reaction is to get away from it as quick as possible. Jack looks over at the girls again and my heart hammers in my chest, it was a wonder he took so long to loose interest his eyes then turn too mine and I hear them giggle quietly and the attention his given them.

"Are you in the bet" He asks his voice is low and his eyes are sincere, the stars shine on his face almost and he's breathtaking, his cameral colored skin seems too glow and his dark eyes are filled with honesty; just the shear sight of him is breathtaking.

"No, I'm not" I mumble awkwardly.

"You should go in it" He tells me.

"Why"

"You'd get a couple of hundred bucks"

"What"

"You heard me" Jack says he smiles softly at me his eyes locked with mine, he reaches out and cups my face, where so close and yet so far away and I'm not sure what to say or do and my heart is racing so fast I think it might jump out of my chest.

"Jack is that you"

We both turn at the same time and I jump away from him like he really is a hot frying pan, the girl in front of us smiles she looks a year younger than us, her light brown hair is straighten completely, her makeup compliments her and she looks straight us as if trying to work something out, she smiles brightly though and her eyes flicker to me and then look away like I'm not interesting enough to bother with, instead they lock with Jack who stuffs his hands in his pockets.

"Hey Belinda" He says his voice sounds disappointed and annoyed and he shoves his hands deeper into his pockets.

"I've been looking for you" She says her voice gets lower and she smiles in a seductive way, she leans forward a little bit more as if too make it more personal and I shift away to give them privacy. It feels like I've walked into somewhere I don't belong and I realize that if Sandy doesn't want Jack, then Belinda will and one of those girls will get him, someone that looks like Jack isn't the kind of person you can claim for a long period. I shift even more away and start to scan the crowd for Jade trying to ignore the pain and hurt that is seeping through my body. Jack moves towards me as soon as I create the noticeable space between us, so close we're touching.

"Jack, how about repeat of last time" Belinda says her voice is still seductive but there's an edge to it, and I see the look she casts at me, as if telling me with her eyes to scatter.

"No" Jack voice is hard and sounds final.

"Jack you're not serious, right?" Belinda asks, she sounds almost confused like a child when there explained a new rule. And they look at you like your not making sense, that look appears on her face and she looks towards me as if I can explain it and believe me I can't.

"Belinda, just not tonight or ever again" Jack adds as an afterthought, for a second I picture a scene of a TV movie, her throwing her drink at him and calling me a horrible name before storming out and planning revenge, Belinda looks over at him almost like she's just vaguely annoyed, no anger or red faced looks instead she just nods her head.

"Jack, your hot but seriously so am I, this whole hard to get act, I can't be bothered with" Belinda says and then waltzes off as if she was the one that turned him down, I stare at her almost in awe.

"She likes to win" Jack says and then turns and smiles at me lightly "Do you wanna drink or something?"

"I don't drink"

"I meant like a soda or something"

"Oh, um yeah thanks" I mumble awkwardly.

Jack nods his head and grabs my hand without thinking about it I feel an electric shock run through my veins, my whole body is set on fire and we both stop for a moment in shock, starring at our hands connected firmly and how well they fit together. _How well we fit together,_ the thought sends shivers through my body. Jack tightens the grip and smiles at me, a real one huge and bright.

"Gotta hold on tight to things that feel right" Jack says to me and I nod my head feeling stupid for not thinking of anything else to say, he leads me through the crowd easily till we get to where the drinks are, a couple of guys from my school stand around it, talking, I know them they don't know me, they're popular and decent as far as I've heard, they all take huge sips of their drinks as if to prove they can drink, Jack pushes past one and gets the soda and then quickly takes a sip, I stare at him

"Making sure it wasn't spiked" Jack explains as he hands into me and I feel stupid for not realizing that, one of the guys standing around the table looks over at us his names Tad Rank and gives Jack a nod, Jack nods back at him, in that way all guys do.

"Jack man where you been at lately?" Tad asks as if now they're best friends, Jack looks over at him again looking already bored, sometimes he's just so easy to read.

"Round"

"Yeah, I get you man" Tad says as if his just been around to, it strikes me as odd that a guy like Tad one of the most popular guys in my grade feels the need to know Jack and be associated with him, Jack is the _it_ guy, the guy everyone wants to be seen with and it feels weird too be associated with someone like Jack, someone that is known.

"Heard you fucked up Matt Ranger and Corey" John says, a guy that has the same level of popularity as Tad, I can see the approval in his eyes, his face lights up.

"Yeah, he was like to chicken to come to this party, Tad heard he had to organize for a change"

"Ok" Jack says his voice is deadpan and bored and holds onto my hand tighter for a second, Tad and John both stare at our hands intertwined and sort of grin at each other.

"Are you two dating?" Tad asks, the amusement is evident in his voice, I hate the way he says it like it's unbelievable but I find the words understandable.

"You're the chick that doesn't like speak right?" John asks "and you two are dating, man what bet did you lose"

I think the world shatters around me or maybe the illusion I created that, Jack and I could possibly look like anything besides a why-is-he-talking-to-her, I stare at my feet maybe because the truth hurts, or maybe because I'm not ready to face it. I hear the sound before I can work out what it is, but it's loud like a crack and I look up shocked by how loud it is, I see the sight of John blood is pouring from his noise and he's touching it like he's in pain, he's cursing loudly and Tad looks completely shocked, like he's not sure what to do, everyone is looking now, I look over to Jack and I see the blood on his knuckles, I can't bring myself to look at his face.

"You broke my nose, are you like fucking insane?" John screams out clutching his nose and wincing in pain, the scene makes me sick to my stomach, I hate blood and I hate attention, sometimes life sucks. I still can't bring myself to look at Jacks face, because I'm not sure the emotion I'm going to see.

"No, but you are for thinking I'd have to lose a bet too wanna be with Angel" Jack says the words with disgust and I look up his face matches his words filled with disgust towards John and Tad, he shakes his head like he's not sure he can believe it.

"What did ya do?" Wolfie says, I turn to him and realize he pushed his way through the crowd, he grabs Jack and forces him to look at him, all the while Jack doesn't let go of my hand and I don't want him too either, John is still swearing profusely and I can hear people gossiping and Tad calling an ambulance, alarm is everywhere as well as drama, but I try and listen to what Wolfie is saying.

"Your Dad is gonna kill you, don't you care?"

"You didn't hear what he said" Jack replies his voice tight.

"Jack you can't go around hitting everyone that says something mean about Angel"

"Why not?"

"Because, you can't" Wolfie says he sounds exhausted, and then I hear it the sirens, the police are coming and I feel sick, I'm going to end up in Jail, everyone starts scattering and running away as fast as they can, I vaguely hear Jack swear and then pull on my hand but I'm still trying to process what's happening he pulls me along as if I weigh nothing and the whole way I look around for Jade, people begin to blur together and I try and ignore it, my heads spinning, the world is spinning and yet I search as frantically as I can for Jade, it's sort of like being at school when the bell has just rung, everyone is just dying to get out and start becoming impatient, except everyone is running around crazily, swearing, cursing and searching for their friends. Jack held my hand tightly, it was easy for him to get past people because of his height and how he looked, people gladly moved out of his way and then I caught a glimpse of her, there she was, Jade, her eyes were frantic and searching, a tall lean boy stood beside her, his hair covered his eyes, that wasn't the odd thing about him though, it was bright pink, other than that, he was what many girls would stop to stare at, he was good looking at yet the bright pink hair changed his classically handsome features to an odd looking punk guy, he stood next to Jade getting more and more anxious looking.

"Jade" I shouted as loud as I could, Jack heard me because he came to a halt and looked around for Jade, his eyes just as frantic as hers were, I looked around and saw Wolfie waiting too, his face very impatient he kept looking at his clear exit and then back at Jack, I could tell he wasn't going to leave Jack, he just wasn't happy about it, finally Jade found my eyes and rushed towards me her face filled with relief, the pink haired boy followed, Wolfie rushed towards us.

"Come on, we gotta move now" Wolfie said his voice frantic with worry, it was clear he was panicked and so was I, it reminded me of how I felt before a test, sick and worried we all nodded in agreement before one of us could move though a firm voice stopped us.

"Not so fast kids"

We all looked up to see the one thing we dreaded, a police officer.

***

"Your hands are shaking" Jade said

"Are they?"

"Yeah full on shaking, calm down, we're not in jail"

"Jack is" I mumbled as we sat on the bench, we didn't have alcohol on our breath so we were free to go after a firm lecture, but Jack Wolfie and Pink Haired boy were sitting in a jail cell. Jade looked at me and smiled.

"You two are so into each other you got that whole Romeo and Juliet thing going on"

"Forbidden Love"

"No, lots of lust"

I blush bright red at her words "Just speaking the truth, yeah" Jade laughs at my expression of awkwardness.

"That boy was starring you down"

"Jack?"

"Course he had that I need you now look, he was all hot for you, you know that look Brittany gets when she's doing a music video and trying to look sexy, yeah he had that look, but like a guy version and a hundred times worse, shit you guys should have a reality show, you two are very entertaining"

"We are"

"Yeah it's cute"

"Who's the guy with the pink hair?"

"I dunno"

"You don't know"

"Nope, I was standing there looking for you, and he stood next to me"

"You didn't find that weird?"

"Well yeah, I was like _"why are you standing so close, aren't you meant to be running for the hills not trying to freak a person out?",_ and then he went all _aren't you?,_ and I'm like, _are you a rapist or something, cause the police are coming so this isn't the best time to commit a crime_?, and he was like _I'm not a rapist!_ and that was that"

"So then he just stood next to you?"

"Mmmhhm basically, well, at some point I said _"you might get caught, you better run", _and then he said_ "not without you_", which was weird and everything but seriously, I couldn't be bothered trying to escape him, I was going with the stay-where-you-are-and-you'll-find-the-person-metaphor"

"Oh"

"Yeah so that's how me and pink hair were together"

"You don't even know his name?"

"No, I do, I heard him give it to the police"

"What is it?"

"Hang on give me a sec"

"It was weird name, Cleo, Jazz, Amy"

"You realizing your saying all girls names"

"Hang on, it was Sebastian, but he goes by Zeb, that's it"

"How do you get Zeb, from Sebastian?"

"Like I know"

"Weird" I say.

"You don't know what weird is, you weren't standing next to a pink haired guy"

I nod my head accepting that it feels weird being here, and wrong like you're the new kid and everyone just knows you don't belong here, like this isn't where your meant to be, but sort of worse because, I'm at a police station in plastic chairs waiting for Wolfie, Jack and Zeb to be released from jail, The Clerk at the desk glares at us whenever she looks up from her desk, as if we're the reason for the whole party, and the policemen that pass us shoot us a disapproving look. Jade fiddles with her fingers and looks around the place, the building is cold and lacks any sense of warmth, you can tell the government needs to invert some money to clean the place up, and I can spot several cracks in the walls. I spot the Sheriff walking towards us, Charlie Swan, I gulp, I met him once and only once and he was one of those quite but nice guys, I feel sick at the thought of seeing someone like him know who I AM I'm bound to run into him again in town, and now I'll always be the jail girl. He looks at both of us and smiles weakly.

"Their parents are coming to collect them, you can go now girls if you want" He offers and I'm touched he bothered to come and tell us that.

"It's ok we'll wait"

"Their parent's might not be too happy to see you, seeing everything about tonight" Charlie explains awkwardly.

"I'd rather wait but thanks" I say.

"Suite yourself" He mutters before walking towards his office, I almost feel bad I didn't just leave for his sake, he was making an effort, and I wasn't being nice back, but what more could I do, it's my fault Jack's in there, he could have made a clean break if it wasn't for me, and I feel the guilt rush over me again, Jade looks over at me as if she can tell I'm freaking out.

"Don't worry" Jade says as she looks up at the ceiling "I have the strangest erg too, through the bubblegum up on the ceiling it's so clean and tempting"

"Don't" I almost beg the last thing I need is to do is being arrested for vandalism, the idea of my mother coming to visit another child behind bars is too much for me or her to take, the thing about jails for me now is they're not so scary, why I'm in them worries me, but never the place, the actual place doesn't bother me, maybe because I've been to so many that Jail itself has no effect on me, the idea that I might not be able to leave or someone who matters to me not being able to leave does bother me, and I know deep down that's why I have to stay, to make sure Jack does get out unlike my brother who still hasn't managed to.

Just to know that it's possible for a teenage boy to enter jail and come out again. I jump when I hear the door open and both Jade and I turn instantly too see who it is, a women in her 30's, pretty, with an anxious expression on her face and a man that looks a lot like Wolfie, it's clear it's Wolfie parents the women marches straight up to the Women at the desk, she's on a mission and I can see a hint of amusement in the man's eyes as he watches his wife take charge of the situation.

"I'm here to bail out my son, Wolfie Fuller" She says and her voice is tight and awkward the man takes a sit on one of the plastic chairs next to us, the clerk says something I don't catch and wonders off and then Wolfie's mum turns around as soon as she catches her husband, she glares at him.

"Our only child Jared is in jail and you're sitting down" She says.

"Kim" Jared says.

"No do not Kim me, our son, my baby boy, your son the one I gave birth to is sitting in jail with drug dealers and killers and your sitting down!"

"Kim how many killers do you think there are around here?"

"Jared, do not mock me"

"He's probably sharing a cell with Jack"

"That is not the point"

"Sweetheart calm down"

"You know when I see that boy, I'm gonna kill him"

"Kim"

"Oh and you too, if you tell me to calm again" She snaps her voice is harsh but you can hear the love behind it, I stare at them, I've never seen two people more in love, it's captivating just too watch them together. Jade stares at them too, and then Jared walks over and wraps his arms around his wife, she doesn't stop him they both just stand there together, and then I hear footsteps we all look up and Wolfie appears looking rather ashamed, he looks towards us and gives us a small smile before anything else can be done, Kim throws herself at Wolfie grabbing him in a huge.

"Are you okay" She sobs.

"Mum don't cry"

"I was so worried"

"I thought you were mad" Jared says.

"How can I be? He's just been to hell and back"

"I wouldn't really call it hell" Wolfie mumbles.

"My poor baby boy, we'll go home and I'll make you something to eat and then, you will never leave the house again"

"Yes" Wolfie says, Wolfie gives a glance at us and it's obvious he can't get away from his mother, so he smiles as he passes, and then get pulls towards the door.

"Mum, Sam's coming right?"

"Yes he's coming" Kim soothes.

"Poor kid" Jared mumbles and then they're gone and both Jade and are a left alone.

"Wow, freaking wow, she was intense" Jade says.

I nod my head, she was intense, but in such a nice way, you could see the love she had for those around her, and the love they had for her, it was beautiful and sweet. I push some hair out of my face and we both go back to silence, waiting and waiting finally the door opens again and both Jade and I turn to see who it is, and then both of us want to shiver away when we see who is at the door.

**Authors Note**

**Cliff Hanger in all honesty I just had to stop adding to this chapter it was getting really long. Tell me what you prefer, longer, or shorter chapters?**


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